Mixed Blessings
by caseymac42
Summary: Third and final story following It's All in the Family, and Love's Great Adventures. Reading those two stories first are encouraged. **Tissue Alert**


**Mixed Blessings**

Arriving home after spending three days at Rampart, Johnny and Kim were ready to embark on yet another chapter of their lives…as parents. Kim had given birth to three beautiful bouncing baby girls.

Johnny had joined Kim as a patient at Rampart the same day she had given birth, as he had injured his knee and ankle in a fall at a fire.

Mr. and Mrs. Kelly came down for the birth of their grandchildren and were going to spend the next few weeks helping the new parents take care of their new babies. Johnny was still in much discomfort and ordered by Doctor Brackett to stay off his feet for at least a week, and because of that, he knew that he wouldn't be of much assistance in helping to take care of the girls.

Getting out of the car with his crutches, it pained Johnny not to be able to help carry his children into the house. As he slowly and carefully made his way up the front walk and to the door, he watched in awe as Kim and her parents each carried one of his daughters. It made him proud, yet overwhelmed him to think that he was now a father and that he was now responsible for the lives of these three girls.

As he followed the others into the house, he grinned. Greeting him was a big Welcome Home sign and about two dozen balloons. There was also an envelope that had Kim and Johnny's names on it.

"Johnny you look like you're really hurting, why don't you go and relax. We'll put the girls down upstairs."

The paramedic smiled wearily and kissed his mother-in-law on the cheek. "Thanks Mom…sounds like a good idea. I'll be right here."

While Kim and her parents went upstairs to put the girls down in their cribs, Johnny made his way over to his favorite recliner where he gently eased himself down into it. Leaning his head back, he reclined the chair and was asleep in less than a minute.

When the others returned downstairs, they realized that Johnny had fallen asleep.

"The poor dear, he's exhausted. Listen, your father and I will take care of the girls. Johnny's probably asleep for a while…why don't you go take a nice relaxing bubble bath. You're a mother now…those times are going to be few and far between."

Kim smiled thankfully at her mother. "You're probably right."

Picking up the envelope with both hers and Johnny's names on it, Kim wondered who it was from. "Who's this envelope from?"

Mr. Kelly shook his head. "I don't know, sweetheart…but I don't think you'd have to be a genius to figure it out."

Kim opened the envelope and pulled out a card. The card read, "Congratulations Kim and Johnny on the birth of your triplets…Good luck and much happiness…with love, all your friends from the LACoFD and Rampart." Enclosed in the card was a check for a rather large sum of money and a note attached that read, 'Three daughters don't come cheap…please accept this as a token of love and friendship."

Tears found their way down Kim's face. When she showed her parents the card and check, her mother wiped away her tears.

"This only reinforces what your father and I already know…that you and Johnny are both very special people and your friends love you both a whole lot. Go take your bath…we'll take care of everything."

Kim kissed her parents and headed upstairs. After looking quietly in on her new daughters, she got ready for her bath.

An hour later, Kim returned downstairs. Her father was out on the deck reading a newspaper, while her mother was preparing lunch.

Before heading to the kitchen, she went to the living room to check on her sleeping husband. Despite still looking quite pale, Johnny appeared to be resting comfortably. Leaning over him, she softly kissed his lips and stood smiling…secure in the knowledge that Johnny would indeed be a great father.

"Hungry Kim? I made some sandwiches." Mrs. Kelly softly called from the kitchen entrance.

"Sounds good, Mom. I really appreciate you and Dad staying with us for a few weeks to help with the girls. I know for sure, especially with Johnny's bad leg that we'd never have been able to manage on our own."

"That's why we're here, sweetheart…and we are very happy we are. Now, have a seat. I made some ham and cheese sandwiches…I know they are Johnny's favorite."

Before Kim could sit down, the phone rang. Answering the phone, she wasn't surprised to hear the voice on the other end.

"Gage residence."

"Hey little sister…how's parenthood going?"

Kim smiled as she replied. "Fine, big brother. What are you up to?"

"Not much."

"Wanna come over? The girls are asleep…so is Johnny for that matter, but the rest of us are here. Mom made lunch."

"I'll be over in a half hour."

"We'll be here…see ya soon."

Hanging up the phone, she turned around to see her mother's curious look.

"Was that you brother?"

"Yeah. Chet'll be here in a little while."

"Your brother was so excited to become an uncle. He might be a little nutty at times…but he's got a good heart."

Kim chuckled. "Yeah, I know…that sounds a lot like someone else I know…my husband. You know…I wonder when we're gonna finally hear that Chet proposed to Katy. Then they can get married and have kids of their own."

A little while later, Chet arrived. Noticing Johnny sprawled on the recliner, he grew concerned.

"Is Johnny okay? He still doesn't look very good."

"He's tired, Chet…and his knee and ankle are still really bothering him. How are you doing? Any news on the marriage front?"

Kim looked questioningly at her brother while he smirked at her, and then the siblings exchanged hugs.

"I'm fine…and no, there's no marriage news. You're as bad as Johnny about all that stuff. Where are the girls?"

"Upstairs asleep. I'm sure you'll get to see them before too long."

"I brought something for them." Chet pulled out three Teddy bears from the bag he was carrying.

"Chet…they're adorable…thanks."

It was a couple hours later that Johnny had finally woke up.

Hearing him stir, Kim and Chet went to the living room.

Johnny grinned when he saw his friend standing there.

"Chester B."

"Hey Johnny…you doin' okay?" Chet asked sincerely.

With an obvious strain in his voice, they both knew that Johnny was hurting. "I'm alright, Chet…thanks for askin'. How are you doing? How's your lady doing?" The paramedic couldn't help but to grin at his friend.

"I'm fine…and so is Katy. The guys all send their regards. The station's been kinda quiet without ya…when are you comin' back?"

"Hopefully, in a few weeks."

Johnny suddenly remembered the envelope that had been lying on top of the chest in the living room, when they had come home earlier that day. "Kim, what was in that envelope?"

Kim shook her head. "Johnny, you're never gonna believe it." She got the envelope and handed it to Johnny.

Opening up the card, he smiled at the expressed sentiments. When he saw the check and the note attached, his jaw dropped.

"Chet, you know about this?"

"Yeah, I do…but I'll never tell. All I'll say is that you two sure have a lot friends here in LA." Chet quickly changed the subject. "Am I gonna get to see my nieces any time soon?"

Almost as if on cue, three babies started to cry.

"Now's your chance, Chet. You help Hopalong Cassidy get out of his chair…the rest of us will take care of the girls."

After everyone converged in the nursery and the babies were all changed, Johnny sat down in the rocking chair with his youngest daughter Callie, smiling at her angelic face.

"I still can't believe I am a father…but, I'm glad."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

After helping out with a patient he had just brought in, Roy headed to the base station.

Dixie looked up from the paperwork that she had been intently working on and smiled when she saw Roy standing in front of her.

"Hey Roy. How are you today?"

"Pretty good, Dix. You?"

"Fine. Say…how are Johnny and Kim making out with the babies?"

"Kim's parents are staying with them for a few weeks, so they're getting a lot of help. Kim's doing great…Johnny is actually obeying Doctor Brackett's orders and staying off his feet. He won't say it, but I know he's really hurting."

"It's too bad that he's not feeling better."

"Yeah, but at least he's able to spend time with Kim and getting to know his daughters."

Joining Roy at the base station, was Roy's partner for the shift Charlie Dwyer. Having heard Roy's last sentence, Dwyer let out a chuckle.

"It still blows my mind that your partner is married with three baby girls."

This time it was Roy's turn to chuckle. "I think it blows Johnny's mind too. Well, we better get going. See ya later, Dix."

"Bye fellas." Watching as Roy and Dwyer walked away, Dixie was deep in thought, with a smile on her face.

"Dix?"

"Oh…hi, Kel. Did you need something?"

"No. You okay?"

"I'm fine. Roy was just telling me about Johnny and Kim."

"How's Johnny doing? He was still in a lot of pain when he left here a few days ago."

"Roy said that he's staying off his feet. It IS kind of amazing to think that Johnny is a father…to three girls no less, don't you think?"

"I don't know, Dix. If anyone could pull it off, my money's on Johnny. How's Kim?"

"She's fine. Her folks are down for a few weeks to help out."

The base station radio came to life and Dixie's reverie about Johnny and Kim's new life quickly came to an end.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Over the next two weeks, the Gage household settled into a comfortable routine. Johnny's knee and ankle were feeling better. Although he was still sore, most of the swelling had gone away, and he was now able to finally play a bigger role in the care of his three daughters.

Johnny had been relaxing on the couch with his daughter Cassie, when the front door opened, and in walked Kim with Joanne and Roy.

"Hello there, partner."

"Hey Pally…Jo…come on in."

Kim smiled at the sight of her husband snuggled up with one of their daughters.

"Where are the other two?"

"They're sound asleep in their cribs. Cassie was a bit fussy so I thought we'd hang out down here for a while. Your mom and dad are out on the deck."

Joanne came over to Johnny and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "John Gage…daddy. It's kind of amusing to think about that."

Johnny grinned his famous smile. "YOU find it amusing? Sit here in MY shoes…I still find it hard to comprehend. I guess one day, it might actually kick in. How're Chris and Jen?"

"They're fine…can't wait to be done with school for the summer."

"They still have a few more months to go yet, don't they Jo?"

"Yeah…but all they can think of is spending time with their cousins."

"Joanne, why don't we join my parents out on the deck…my mother made some fresh iced tea and chocolate chip cookies."

"Sounds good. See you fellas later."

After the two women left the room, Roy pulled up a chair and sat across from Johnny where he was comfortably sitting on the couch with his daughter.

"She's a cute one, Johnny…you're type?"

"Well…she is cute…but a little too high maintenance for my taste. I have a theory that it's because she's the middle child and just wants the attention."

Roy smiled knowingly at his partner. "So…how are you feeling these days?"

"I'm doin' okay, Roy…a little sore, but nothing like I was, even last week. I have a date with Brackett in a few days. I hope to be back to work in another week or so. Who've you been working your shifts with?"

"Dwyer for a few, Bellingham…and I worked with a new guy who just transferred to LA from Sacramento."

"Yeah? What's his name?"

"McFadden…Kirby McFadden…pretty good paramedic. He's 27…and been a paramedic for five years."

Grinning at Roy, he waited for his partner to answer the next question. "Did ya like him?"

"I don't know…I guess he was nice enough…but he wasn't you…thankfully…there's only ONE of you, Junior."

The two friends sat in silence for a few moments before Roy started to speak again.

"This new life, Johnny…it suits you. You look very content. I knew just by the way you were with Chris and Jen that you'd make a great father."

"I had a good role model, Roy…you."

"You ever think about your parents…you know, what they'd say about you becoming a dad?"

Johnny's expression turned thoughtful. "Yeah, I do. I miss them a lot…they'd be proud of me, and would have made terrific grandparents. Kim is the only one who knows this, but the girls are all named for family. My Dad's name was Carl, my Mom's name was Callie, and Cassie is named for my little sister."

"I never knew you had a little sister."

"Yeah…and an older brother…Aaron. But, that's a story for another time."

"You promise to tell me about it one day?"

"Yeah…one day. Hey, you wanna come upstairs…I'll put Cassie down and you can see the other two."

"Twist my arm, partner."

The two friends made their way to the nursery where Johnny put Cassie down, and then both men looked in on the other two sleeping babies.

"Little angels, aren't they?" Johnny said dreamily.

Roy shook his head. "Maybe NOW they are, Johnny…but wait until they get older. You do know that these three are gonna have YOU wrapped around their little fingers…you have no chance, Johnny."

"We'll see about that, Pally."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

A few days later, Johnny had his appointment with Doctor Brackett. Walking into the ER, he was met by a smiling Dixie.

"Johnny."

"Hi Dix." Johnny replied with a smile of his own.

"You sure are a sight for sore eyes."

"Bad day?"

"Well…it hasn't exactly been an overly good one. You have time to treat a lady to a cup of coffee? Doctor Brackett is finishing up his rounds…he should be back to the ER in about twenty minutes."

"Sure thing…can't go anywhere until Doctor Brackett sees me."

The two of them made their way to the lounge. After pouring two cups of coffee, Johnny handed Dixie a cup and sat down.

"So what happened, Dix? It's been awhile since I've seen you all…bothered."

"Forget about me, Johnny…let's talk about you. How's fatherhood going?"

Johnny couldn't suppress his chuckle. "Pretty good…but I suppose I'm still in the honeymoon phase. Ask me in another couple of months. Kim's folks are still at the house…probably for another two or three more weeks…then we're on our own."

"And how's Kim?"

Johnny's eyes lit up at the mere mention of her name. "She's doing great. I…I know I had a hand in things…but watching her carry those babies for nine months…and then watching her give birth…"

"Pretty amazing, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I mean, Roy and I have helped deliver a few babies through the years, but they don't compare to being there for your own."

Entering the lounge, Doctor Brackett brightened when he realized Johnny was sitting across from Dixie.

"Johnny."

"Hey Doc." Johnny greeted with a wave.

"How are you feeling? How's the knee and ankle?"

"I feel pretty good…still a little sore, but it's 100% better than it was. When do you think I'll be able to go back to work?"

"Hold on, Johnny…I'd have to examine you first. What's the hurry? I'da thought that you'd welcome the time off to spend with your family."

"Yeah, I know…but…"

Understanding where Johnny was coming from, Brackett let out a deep breath. "Well…I'm ready when you are."

"I'm ready. Thanks for the coffee, Dix. I'll be in touch."

"Take care, Johnny."

After entering one of the treatment rooms, Johnny carefully hopped up on the exam bed.

"Any pain?"

"No pain. As I said it's still a little sore, but it feels a lot better."

"Let's take a look."

Johnny removed his shoe and sock, and took off his pants to allow the doctor to examine his leg.

Kel looked up after examining Johnny's knee and ankle.

"There's still a little bit of swelling, Johnny…take another week. I'll examine the leg again and you should be able to return to work shortly thereafter."

"Thanks, Doc…I appreciate it."

"So…how's the world of fatherhood?"

"Terrific…you oughta try it some time."

The doctor smiled at Johnny. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Take care. I'll see you in a week."

"'kay, Doc."

After Johnny put his pants back on, and his sock and shoe, he left the room. As he was walking out the door, he bumped into Roy in the hallway.

"Oh, hey Johnny. How'd you make out with Brackett?" The senior medic asked interestedly.

"Another week and a half and I should be back to work."

"That's great news."

Just then another sandy-haired young man with a paramedic's uniform came over to the two friends.

"Johnny, I'd like you to meet Kirby McFadden. Kirby, this is John Gage."

The two men shook hands.

"Nice to meet you, John. I've heard a lot about you…I almost feel like I know you."

"Thanks. It's nice to meet you too, Kirby. Roy treatin' you okay?"

The young paramedic smiled. "I have no complaints. By the way, congratulations on the birth of your daughters…triplets, huh?"

"Yeah…thanks. How are you and Chet Kelly getting along?"

Kirby grinned mysteriously and shared a conspiratorial look with Roy.

"We're getting along just fine, John."

Roy looked at Kirby and then back at Johnny. "Let's just say that the Phantom has met his match."

Johnny shook his head. "Glad to hear it. I guess that explains why Chet hasn't mentioned anything 'bout you to me. You probably already know about mine and Chet's history, and the fact that his sister is my wife."

"Yeah, the guys filled me in. Let's just say that I'm glad to help." Kirby replied with a grin.

"Roy, I like this guy."

Before anything else could be said, Roy's radio went off.

"Squad 51, what is your status?"

Roy responded on the radio. "Squad 51 is available at Rampart."

"Stand by for response."

"10-4, LA. Johnny, we'll see you later."

"Be careful, guys."

"We will."

Johnny stood watching as Roy and Kirby left and then made his own way out. On the phone as Johnny passed her, Dixie waved at him.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

It was another two weeks before Johnny was deemed ready to return to active duty.

After showering and dressing, Johnny was ready for work. Making his way down to the kitchen, he was greeted by Kim and her parents…each one holding a baby.

"Mornin', everybody."

He kissed each baby on the top of the head, his mother-in-law on the cheek, and his wife gently on the lips.

"Good morning, Johnny." Greeted Mr. Kelly.

"Pop…"

Kim smiled at her husband. "Someone is happy today."

"And why shouldn't I be? I have the most amazing and beautiful wife in the world, three adorable daughters, the best in-laws around…and I'm about to go back to a job I love and work with my best friend…my life…is perfect."

Kim took a few moments to let what Johnny had just said to sink in. Yes, life was perfect, but she also knew that at any time it could easily change.

"Hungry? I can fix you a quick breakfast."

"I'm fine, Mom. I'm actually too excited to eat right now, but thanks for the offer. I should get going. I'll be in touch."

"Johnny, please be careful."

"Kim…I'll be as careful as I possibly CAN be. Don't worry…I've got the best crew around to watch my back. I love you."

He kissed Kim again and winked at her. "I'll call you later."

Grabbing his duffle bag, Johnny left the house and made his way to work.

Arriving at the station, he put his bag away in his locker and made his way to the kitchen where he was greeted by the men on C-Shift.

"It's John Gage."

"In the flesh, Charlie."

"How's it going, Johnny?"

"Couldn't be better. I would never have guessed that fatherhood would be so amazing. I think EVERYONE should try it."

Gradually, over the next hour the rest of Johnny's shift mates arrived and welcomed him back.

"John…welcome back, pal."

"Thanks Cap…it's great to be back."

"Actually…we enjoyed the calm and quiet around here, Gage."

Marco snickered at Chet's comment. "And we know the reason for the calm and quiet, Chet…and it had nothing to do with Johnny not being here."

Mike added his two cents to the conversation. "I think it had something to do with a certain paramedic…a certain paramedic with the initials K.M."

Chet scoffed at the notion. "Kirby had nothing to do with it."

The last one to arrive was Roy. "Hey partner."

"Roy..."

Roy handed Johnny a big tin container. "These are from Joanne and Jennifer. They were baking all day yesterday…your favorites…chocolate chip and peanut butter."

"Thanks Pally. That was sweet of them. Would any of you guys like to have some?"

"That's very generous of you, pal…but can we get through roll call first?"

Johnny grinned at his boss. "Sure thing, Cap."

They got through roll call and Hank handed out job assignments. Before starting on their chores, the men of the A-Shift celebrated Johnny's return with coffee and the cookies made for him by Jo and Jenny.

"Thanks for the treat, John…now let's all get to work."

The two paramedics headed out to the bay to start their morning supply/equipment check.

"It sure is good to have you back, Junior. As much as I enjoyed working with Kirby…he could never take the place of you."

"Thanks Pally…it's nice to hear that. I missed you, too."

As his two paramedics were checking their supplies, it made Hank happy to once again hear the banter between them.

When their supply check was completed, each paramedic moved on to their assigned chore…Johnny the dorms and Roy the squad room.

As Johnny started on the linen, the alarms went off.

"Squad 51, woman in labor, Save Mart Grocery Store, 561 Laurelton Avenue. Time out 0855."

Roy was closest to the radio and responded. "10-4 LA, Squad 51 responding, KMG365."

When Johnny got to the squad he was all smiles, fondly thinking of the birth of his own three daughters only a month ago.

As they pulled out of the station, Hank waved to them. He was happy that Johnny's first run back was something positive.

Arriving at the supermarket, the two paramedics were greeted by the store manager.

"Thanks for coming. I'm Tom McElroy, the store manager. One of my customers went into labor."

While grabbing their equipment out of the squad, the paramedics tried to get more information.

"Where is she now?" Roy asked Tom.

"Well, one of my clerks was working in the aisle where she was when she started to feel contractions and her water broke. He was able to walk her to the back room at the end of that aisle. We thought she'd be more comfortable and have more privacy there. I hope that's okay."

"That's fine. Let's go."

The three men made their way to the pregnant woman.

Johnny smiled reassuringly at the woman. "Hi there. I'm John Gage and this is my partner Roy DeSoto…we're gonna help you…just try to relax. What's your name?"

"It's Liz." Just then she had another contraction.

"How far along are you?"

"Nine…months. I wasn't due for another two weeks." She replied panting.

"Mother Nature isn't perfect. Is this your first child?"

Liz nodded her head. "Yeah…and if I have anything to say about it…it's gonna be my last one, too."

Johnny let out a small chuckle. "You're gonna be just fine."

Roy got Rampart on the bio-phone and gave them Liz's vitals and additional information.

After examining her, it was obvious that Liz would be delivering her baby pretty soon.

"Well partner, since it's your first day back…you can do the honors."

Roy stayed by Liz's head, as Johnny prepared to deliver the baby.

Between contractions Liz tried to talk. "You…you guys have kids?"

Roy nodded his head. "I have a son and a daughter…Johnny here, just became a father to triplets a month ago…three girls."

"God…bless…your…your wife. My husband…he…he needs to…to be called."

"We'll make sure he gets called. What's his name?"

"Lance…Lance Parker. He's…he's at work…555-2938…he's a cook at the Oakmont Café."

Liz had a few more painful contractions.

"It won't be long now."

Roy gave Rampart an update on their patient's condition.

"10-4, Rampart."

Coaching her through the delivery, the two paramedics helped Liz deliver her baby.

Johnny grinned ear to ear. "It's a girl…congratulations."

Roy got back on the bio-phone. "Rampart…it's a girl…mother and daughter are fine."

"Congratulations 51…bring 'em on in." replied Brackett.

"10-4 Rampart."

Roy closed up the phone and started to gather their equipment, while Johnny wrapped up the baby and laid her on Liz's chest.

Standing at the door of the room, Roy signaled the two ambulance attendance to come in. Also coming in was Vince.

"Everything okay, fellas?"

Roy smiled at the cop. "Fine. Here's her husband's name and number. He's a cook at the Oakmont Café. Will you call for us, Vince?"

"Sure thing, Roy."

Liz was carefully placed on the stretcher, her baby with her. The group then made their way out to the awaiting ambulance. After Liz and her baby were safely inside the ambulance, Johnny climbed in after them.

"See ya at Rampart, Pally."

Roy smiled at his partner and closed the ambulance doors, giving them the customary two taps.

Tom McElroy, the store manager stood by the squad waiting for Roy.

"Thanks a lot. She's okay?"

Roy smiled at the man. "They're both fine…and you're welcome. Take care."

After Roy shook hands with Tom, he got in the squad and followed the ambulance to Rampart.

When Roy arrived at the hospital, Johnny was at the base station talking a mile a minute to Dixie, who was standing there listening to Johnny with an amused smile on her face.

"Hi Dix."

"Hi Roy. So how does it feel to finally have your partner back?"

"Well…I like it a lot. How're mother and daughter doing?'

"They're fine, Roy. Guess what she's gonna name the baby."

"I have no idea…Johnny?"

"Oh…ha…ha. She asked me what my girls' names were. When I told her, she said that she really loved the named Cassie."

"Cassie Parker. It has a nice ring to it." answered Roy with a smile.

As Doctor Early approached the base station, Johnny was the first to greet him.

"Mornin' Doc."

"Hi fellas. How does it feel to be back, Johnny?"

"It feels great."

"The knee and ankle are okay?"

"Couldn't be better." replied the paramedic, still grinning.

"Well partner, we should probably get goin'…our chores await us."

Johnny let out a big sigh. "I suppose. We'll see you guys later."

Dixie smiled at her two favorite paramedics and waved. "Bye guys."

Returning to the station, there was plenty of time for the two paramedics to get their chores done.

Through the day, the crew kept busy, responding to several calls both separately and together. After returning from a late evening car accident, Johnny decided to call Kim at home to say hello.

"I'm fine sweetheart…yeah, I am tired…it's been a busy shift so far. How are the girls?"

"They're great, but I know they miss Daddy."

"And believe me, Daddy misses them too. How are you, beautiful?"

"Good…and I miss you too."

Johnny let out a yawn that he was trying to stifle. "I'm sorry…didn't mean for you to hear that."

Kim chuckled. "Go to bed…I can take a hint. Guess I'll see you in two days."

"Yeah. Kim…I love you."

"I love you, too. Sweet dreams."

After getting off the phone, when Johnny turned around, five pairs of eyes were looking at him.

Johnny smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "What? Can I help it if Kim loves me so much?"

Hank could only smile and shake his head. "Well, it's been a pretty busy day…what do ya say we all hit the sack?"

The guys all nodded in agreement and made their way to the dorms. As they got ready to turn in, Johnny continued to happily think of what was waiting for him when he returned home.

The last one in bed was in fact, Johnny.

"Uh…John…you wanna kill the lights?"

"Yeah, sure…sorry 'bout that." Johnny got up and turned out the lights.

"You know what, Gage…I always thought you were goofy…but ever since you've married my sister…and especially since you've had the girls…I think you've taken goofy to a whole new level."

"Ha…ha, Chet. I used to be able to say that you were just jealous…but now…I think you're just plain stupid. You got a great girl like Katy…and still no ring or hint of marriage."

"Hey…just because you're so into this marriage stuff…doesn't mean the rest of us have to be…right Mike…right Marco?"

"Kelly, you twit…will you put a sock in it…please."

Eventually everyone drifted off to sleep. The night was quiet and the crew woke up the next morning to the sound of the morning alarms.

As each man pulled on his bunker pants, Hank acknowledged the tones on the radio.

"Marco you wanna get the coffee started, please."

"Sure thing, Cap."

Making their way to the squad room, the rest of the crew followed Marco.

"You know, Chester B…I had a dream last night…about you…you and Katy. You guys got married and ended up having eight kids…including two sets of twins. Obviously, there is now a history of multiple births in your family…so…there is a chance."

"Gage…will ya give it a rest…please." Chet begged.

The last hour of the shift flew by quickly. As the guys were changing to go home, everyone noticed Johnny's overly sunny disposition.

"You got any plans for the next few days, Johnny?" Roy asked his partner.

"To spend every moment with my beautiful family. Hey, why don't you, Jo and the kids come over for dinner tomorrow?"

"You sure? I don't wanna be accused of taking you away from your quality family time."

"Of course I'm sure, Pally. I'll call ya later."

Chet looked over at Johnny with an almost hurt expression on his face. "Hey, what about ME?"

"What about YOU, Chet?"

"How come I'M not invited? After all…I'm family."

"Don't remind me." Johnny said with a laugh.

Before Johnny could say anything else, Marco interrupted. "Give him a break, Chet. Just because he's married to your sister, it doesn't mean he has to spend every waking moment with you…he DOES have a life of his own."

The paramedic sighed and rolled his eyes. "Chester B…and you say I'M gullible. Why don't you call Katy and the two of you join us for pizza tonight? I gotta get going…see you guys in a few days. Roy, I'll be in touch."

Johnny left the station and returned home. Walking into the house, he was greeted by Kim, with a warm embrace and a passionate kiss.

"I've been waiting to do that since I left the house a few days ago. I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too."

"It's quiet around here. Where is everyone?" Johnny asked, looking around the house.

"The girls are asleep and my parents are spending a few days in San Diego. They wanted us to have some privacy."

"That was nice of them. They probably could go back home. I think we can manage the girls on our own."

"Are you sure, Johnny?" asked Kim, not quite convinced that they could.

"Yeah, I'm sure. They've been a godsend, but I think it's high time that we learn to be parents on our own."

"Well…if you think we can handle it."

"I do…we'll handle it...like everything else…together. It'll be an adventure. Besides, you're a great mother. I see how you are with those babies. Your folks deserve to have their lives back. I know they love being here and helping us…but we have to assume the responsibility eventually. Also, if you don't mind…I invited Chet and Katy for pizza tonight…and Roy, Jo and the kids are coming for dinner tomorrow."

"That's fine. I guess we do need to settle into a routine of our own…and that means having friends and family over."

The couple made their way upstairs to check on their sleeping daughters. Looking into each crib, Johnny couldn't help but to feel incredibly blessed. He was very happy. After everything that he had been through in his life, he now had a family of his own.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

After talking to Kim's parents, they happily agreed to return to their life in San Diego…with the promise that they would still be a big part of their lives, and that they were only a phone call away should the need arise.

Over the next three weeks, Kim and Johnny settled nicely into their new routine.

Roy and Johnny had just made their way out to the squad after dropping off a patient to Rampart, when their radio went off.

"Squad 51, unknown type rescue…518 Drysdale Road, time out 14:25."

Johnny responded on the radio. "10-4 LA, Squad 51 responding."

Pulling away from the ER entrance, Johnny looked over at Roy.

"518 Drysdale Road…isn't that where they're building that new apartment complex?"

"Yeah…couldn't be too serious if they only called for a squad."

Arriving at the apartment complex, they were met by a man whom they assumed was the foreman.

"Are you the foreman?" Roy asked.

"Yes…Ted Powers."

"What's the problem, Mr. Powers?"

"Please, it's Ted. One of my men hurt his arm. He's been working in the basement."

Following Ted, the two paramedics made their way to the basement.

Johnny walked over to the man who was sitting on the floor cradling his left arm.

"What's your name?" asked Johnny, squatting down to tend to their victim.

"It's Paul…Paul Cranston."

"What happened, Paul?"

"I was doing some painting, when I felt a little dizzy. When I went to sit down, I missed the chair and landed on my arm. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"Don't worry about it…we all have had our share of missteps. Did you hit your head or anything?"

"No…just my arm…it really hurts." Paul continued to grimace.

Johnny made a quick examination of Paul's arm.

"Roy, it's definitely fractured."

"Okay, I'll go back out and get a splint. Why don't you get his vitals and contact Rampart. I'll be right back."

Roy made his way out of the building, followed by Ted.

"When is this building due to open?"

"About a month." Came the reply.

"So no one is actually moved in, yet?"

"No…why?"

"I noticed that you still have quite a bit of work to do…some of the pipes are still exposed."

As Roy had made it to the squad to pull out the splint, a large explosion ripped through the building.

Taking a few seconds to look at the building, Roy noticed that it had collapsed under the stress of the explosion.

Grabbing the microphone in the squad, Roy contacted dispatch. "LA, Squad 51. We have an explosion at our location, with fire and building collapse, and probable Code I."

"10-4, 51."

Roy was relieved when he heard other stations being dispatched to the scene.

"How many men you have working today?"

"Uh…at least twenty. I'll have to look at my duty roster."

Roy got on his turnout coat and breathing apparatus.

"I need you to go get your roster. We have to know for sure."

"Of course."

While Roy was outside waiting for help to arrive, Johnny was slowly regaining consciousness.

Slowly opening his eyes, Johnny squinted as he took in his surroundings. Able to move his head only slightly and to the right, he couldn't see much around him, only the darkness.

Trapped under the rubble, Johnny tried to take a deep breath and knew instantly that he was in some serious trouble. The pain he felt coursing through his body was intense, and he could hardly get enough air in his lungs to take a deep enough breath.

Closing his eyes, he tried to concentrate on cataloguing his injuries. For starters, he already knew based on his breathing difficulties that he in all likelihood had a collapsed lung. His head hurt…probable concussion. His belly was on fire, a sign that he knew probably meant that he had some kind of internal bleeding…his whole mid-section hurt…probable broken ribs. Wiggling his fingers and toes he was able to deduct that he didn't have any spinal issues, although his back was more than a bit sore. He tried to bend his knees but quickly realized that his legs were pinned down by the debris. Moving to his arms, he tried to move them but couldn't. Before he could finish trying to figure out what all of his injuries were, Johnny felt a new sensation…wetness. The water he felt was quickly soaking through his clothing, making Johnny feel cold.

Johnny felt awful. He hurt from head to toe, but did his best to remain calm. The one thought that occupied his mind was…how much he'd miss Kim and the girls if he had died. He closed his eyes and tried to picture Kim's beautiful face, as well as the angelic faces of his three baby girls.

Outside, help had arrived. The first to arrive was Engine 68.

Jumping down from the engine, Captain MacDonald approached Roy.

"What do we got?"

"There was an explosion about ten minutes ago. My partner and our original victim are trapped in the basement. The foreman went to get his duty roster. He says about twenty men were working today."

As Captain MacDonald directed his engine crew, other companies arrived, including 51's.

Spotting Roy right away, Hank along with the rest of 51's engine crew went over to him.

"Roy?"

"Cap…it's Johnny. He's trapped inside…the basement."

The five men looked in the direction of the collapsed building…fear in their eyes.

"Relax Roy…we'll get to him and get him out of there."

While the rescue plan was being executed, Johnny was fighting to stay awake. He knew in his heart of hearts if he had fallen asleep, there was a good chance that he wouldn't wake up. Suddenly remembering the reason why he was where he was, he started to call out Paul's name.

"Paul…Paul." Because he was having trouble breathing, Johnny couldn't get enough air in his lungs to have any real volume to his voice.

Not receiving any response to calling for Paul, he became sad, feeling like he failed in his attempt to help a victim. Unsure of how much time had elapsed, his mind started to wander. He thought about Roy and only hoped that he had been safely outside when the explosion had occurred. He thought about whether or not he'd be rescued in time…he thought about his friends…and then his mind once again returned to Kim and the girls.

Johnny assumed that the slowly rising water level that he was feeling was from the water pipes that had broken when the explosion occurred. He started to shiver, something he knew wouldn't possibly add to his comfort level. He also started to choke, as he unintentionally swallowed some of the water.

Once the fire was out, crews slowly and carefully made their way to where Johnny and Paul were down in the basement.

Roy called out for his partner.

"Johnny…can you hear me? Johnny…"

Roy was disappointed when he didn't get a response from his partner.

It had quickly become obvious to all that they'd have an uphill battle in locating and getting to the trapped paramedic and his victim. However, when they realized how much water had entered the basement, things were thrown into another gear.

"Cap...we've gotta get to Johnny soon…the water level is only gonna get higher…and…"

"I know, Roy…we'll find him." Hank said reassuringly.

To Johnny after what felt like an eternity, he finally started to hear the sounds that he had been waiting for…sounds of people and equipment that had signaled help had arrived. Doing his best to push back the panic that had started to set in, especially with the rising water level, Johnny tried to gather as much strength as he could muster to let the others know where he was.

Closing his eyes against the pain, Johnny started to yell as loud as he could. "Help…I'm here."

Roy stopped in his tracks.

"Cap…I heard something."

Hank got on his radio. "This is HT51, can I have complete silence for one minute…we think we have found something."

"Johnny?" again Roy called out.

Once again Johnny summoned all his strength and shouted out one more time. "Here…help."

Working quickly, they made their way over to the trapped paramedic. Being careful as to where they were standing, they moved away some debris and Johnny's face came into view.

"Johnny…we're here, partner…hang on."

A sense of relief came over Johnny as he realized that he was finally found. He started to close his eyes.

"Come on partner, open your eyes…don't fade out on us."

Johnny opened his eyes and softly and breathlessly spoke. "Roy…tell…tell Kim I…I love her…and…and the girls…best…thing…to…to happen…to me."

"Junior, you'll tell her yourself. Right now we gotta get you outta here…this water's getting higher. We're gonna put a c-collar on you and get you on a backboard and into a stokes…let us do all the work."

Roy put the c-collar on Johnny and then quickly checked for broken ribs. Finding some, he knew that they'd have to be extremely careful moving him. Once he was on the backboard, they slid him into the stokes. Once Johnny was safely secured, Roy placed the oxygen mask on his face and the treacherous journey back to safety began.

Once they were outside and Johnny's stokes was placed on the ground, Roy set about examining his best friend. He was quickly joined by the paramedics of 36's, Justin Bartlett and Danny Martinez.

Justin got Rampart on the phone. "Rampart this is Squad 36, how do you read?"

The calm voice of Joe Early responded. "Go ahead 36."

"Rampart, we have a Code I at our location. Stand by for vitals and additional information on injuries."

"Standing by 36."

Just as Justin got off the phone with Rampart, Johnny went into cardiac arrest.

"He's not breathing, Roy…no pulse."

The defibrillator, a piece of equipment that Roy had never dreamed he'd have to use on Johnny, was quickly pulled out of the squad.

Once the leads were attached to Johnny's chest, Danny counted down the wattage charge and Johnny was defibrillated.

Everyone looked anxiously at the monitor…Johnny was still in V-fib.

"No conversion…again."

After the second try, they were able to get Johnny back to sinus rhythm. Once vitals and additional injuries were relayed to Rampart, two IV's were started and his right arm was splinted. He was transferred to a stretcher and quickly put into the ambulance where Roy and Danny Martinez climbed in with him.

Watching as the ambulance drove away, the men of 51's didn't know whether or not they'd ever see Johnny alive again.

"Marco, you take in the squad. We'll meet you and Roy at Rampart as soon as we can."

Chief McConnike approached Hank and officially released 51's crew from the scene. "Go to the hospital, Hank…stay with Gage."

The ride to Rampart was a quiet one. Roy was grateful that Johnny's condition, although very serious, was currently stable. His head was swimming with the possibility that he could very well lose his best friend, and that Kim could very well end up a widow.

Danny sat quietly at the ready should another crisis arise. He knew how close these two paramedics were, and he also knew that Johnny had recently become a father. His heart really went out to Johnny's friends and family.

Relief washed over Roy as the ambulance pulled into the hospital parking lot and Rampart came into view. Looking down at his partner, he only hoped that Johnny would hang on until they got him INTO the hospital.

As the ambulance backed into the ER entrance, Roy could see Brackett, Early, and Dixie waiting for them.

When the ambulance doors swung open, everyone sprang into action. They were shocked when they realized that the Code I was Johnny.

"Any changes, Roy?"

The paramedic looked wearily at Doctor Brackett and shook his head. "No."

"Let's move…Treatment Room 5."

As Johnny's stretcher was moved quickly down the hallway, Roy followed, holding the IV's aloft.

Arriving at the treatment room, Dixie turned around and put her hand on Roy's arm.

"We got it from here, Roy…he's in the best of hands."

"But…"

"Go wait in the lounge…Doctor Brackett will be in to talk to you as soon as he can."

Taking the IV's from Roy Dixie passed them off to another nurse.

Roy stood watching the action in the room as long as he could. Once the door was closed, he continued to stare at it…wishing that he could be inside.

Turning around, he saw the rest of his shift mates walking toward him.

"Roy?" Hank had a hopeful look on his face.

The paramedic could only shrug his shoulders. "He's still alive…but it's real bad. I suppose it could go either way."

As soon as those words were out of Roy's mouth, the men of 51's realized that they were now joined by Kim and Joanne.

Kim looked at Roy questioningly. "How…how bad, Roy?"

"It's serious, Kim. Johnny's in bad shape."

Chet came over to embrace his sister.

"Who's with the girls?"

"My…my neighbor Suzette and her husband. What happened?"

Taking charge, Hank suggested that they head to the lounge. "Let's all go to the lounge…we'll be more comfortable there and will have more privacy."

Once in the lounge, Roy was able to explain what had happened.

"Johnny and I were called to an apartment complex. There was an explosion, and Johnny who was with an injured worker was caught in the collapse. Kim…while Johnny was still conscious…he did want me to tell you how much he loved you and the girls…and that you were the best thing that ever happened to him."

While Johnny's friends and family waited for word on the seriously injured paramedic's condition, the doctors and nurses were busy examining him.

Johnny's wet clothes were cut off of him and he was readied for x-rays, but not before blood was drawn and a chest tube was inserted into his left side.

Because of Johnny's severe breathing issues and the fact that he had already had an episode of cardiac arrest, Dixie and the two doctors stayed with Johnny while he was being x-rayed.

"Doctor Brackett, I'll have these x-rays for you in about five minutes."

"Sooner if you can."

While waiting for the x-rays, two other surgeons were called in on consultation. Everyone in the room knew that Johnny was in a life and death situation.

When the x-rays came back, the doctors gathered around the viewer and saw all of Johnny's injuries.

"It's not good, Kel. We need to get Johnny to the OR…NOW…or he won't have any chance of making it. Tim and I are going to scrub up…we'll be in touch."

Doctors Conway and Oliver, two of Rampart's best surgeons left the room and Johnny was prepped for surgery.

After consulting with the surgeons who would be operating on Johnny, Brackett and Dixie stepped out of the treatment room, while Joe Early stayed with him.

Dixie looked into the doctor's eyes, worry on her face, before speaking. "Kel…what are Johnny's chances? He's going to make it, isn't he?"

"Dix…I honestly couldn't say. Johnny's got some serious injuries, but he's bounced back from things before."

"I…I can't help but to think about Kim and the girls. Those babies are only a few months old."

"I know…but Kim is strong and she has a lot of people who will help her get through this. Let's tell everyone what we know about Johnny, so far."

They made their way to the lounge to update everyone on Johnny's condition. When the door opened and in walked Dixie and Brackett, the room fell silent and all eyes were upon them.

Doctor Brackett held his hand up. "He's alive…but very critical. Right now he's getting prepped for surgery. Two of Rampart's best surgeons, Doctor Eric Conway and Tim Oliver are doing Johnny's surgery."

Softly, Kim asked the doctor about Johnny's injuries.

Kel's mouth started to twitch…the telltale sign that he was very concerned about Johnny's state of health.

"His injuries are quite extensive. Aside from a broken right arm and collar bone, he also has several broken ribs and a serious concussion. But his most significant injuries include internal bleeding in his belly, and a collapsed lung. His breathing is very compromised. Right now he's on his way to surgery."

"Can I see him?" Kim asked hopefully.

"I'm sorry, Kim…there's no time. If Johnny's to have a chance, things have to move quickly. As soon as there's any news, someone will be here to talk to you. Until then…all we can do is wait. I'll check on you, later."

Once Brackett and Dixie left, the room fell silent and all eyes were on Kim. At the moment Kim remained calm, but she knew the reality of the situation…she could very well become a widow raising three children herself, sometime in the next few hours or days.

Chet, who was standing beside his sister, broke the silence when he softly spoke to her. "Kim, I'll call Mom and Dad. They can come down and take care of the girls while you stay with Johnny."

"Thanks Chet." she replied numbly.

After Chet left the lounge to make his phone call, Kim turned to Roy.

Seeing Kim's worried look and the overwhelming sense of sadness in her blue eyes, Roy could suddenly relate to Johnny's reaction to having had to break the news of Drew Burke's death to Drew's wife Pam, a few years earlier. It absolutely tore his heart to see her this way.

"Roy…what am I going to do if Johnny doesn't make it? He…he means everything to me."

For one of the first times in his life, Roy was speechless. The truth of the matter was, he couldn't imagine his life without Johnny in it either. Johnny obviously didn't quite mean the same thing to Roy, as he did to Kim, but knowing that his best friend could be dying didn't hurt any less because of that.

After hearing Kim talk and seeing her reaction to the seriousness of Johnny's injuries, Joanne thought about what she'd do if anything had ever happened to Roy. She'd probably react the same way.

"Roy, we…we gotta get back in service. I got replacements for you and Chet…and Johnny. You'll let us know how Johnny's doing?"

"Yeah…I'll be in touch. Thanks Cap."

The remaining firefighters each embraced Kim, and made their way out of the room. Passing by Dixie, she was able to see their somber expressions. Her heart went out to them.

Back inside the lounge, Joanne and Roy were able to convince Kim to sit down.

"Kim, can I get you anything?"

"No thanks, Roy…I'm good."

Joanne gave her husband a look that told him to take a break, and that Kim needed a woman's touch at the moment. Understanding his wife's look, Roy decided to step out for a bit.

"Uh…I…I'm gonna go for a walk. I'll be back in a little while."

Kim didn't say anything and Joanne only nodded her head in appreciation.

Roy left the room and Joanne turned to look at Kim.

"Kim…listen to me. Johnny's gonna make it…he's got too much living to do, not to…and he loves you and those girls too much not to hold on."

"What if he DOESN'T make it?" asked a tearful Kim.

"You can't think like that…he's GOING to make it."

While the two women were inside talking, Chet had finished calling his parents and met Roy as he was coming down the hallway.

"How is she, Roy?"

"I don't know, Chet…numb, I guess. Joanne's with her right now. Your folks comin' up?"

"Yeah. They'll be here in the morning. Why Johnny, huh? I mean he's finally settled down…he's happy…"

"I wish I knew the answer to that, Chet…but I don't. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him, but more importantly…I don't know what your sister would do. She'd be raising those girls alone."

A half hour later, Roy and Chet made their way back to Kim and Joanne in the lounge.

Joanne was sitting on the couch, while Kim was standing in front of the window, looking out at nothing in particular.

Walking over to his sister, Chet gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Kim."

Turning around, her strong façade fell away and she burst into tears, burying her face into her brother's chest.

Watching the two siblings trying to comfort each other, Roy and Joanne shared their own feelings of grief and sadness.

"Shhh…it's gonna be okay, Kim. You're not alone…we're all gonna get through this together. Mom and Dad will be here in the morning."

Over the course of the next couple of hours several people were in and out of the lounge, including some doctors and nurses, and a few paramedics. All of them expressed their sorrow over what had happened to Johnny.

Finally, one of the people they were waiting to hear from arrived…Doctor Conway.

The doctor was still in scrubs and the perspiration stained clothing was evidence as to how hard he had worked on Johnny.

"Mrs. Gage? I'm Doctor Conway."

Kim and the others approached the doctor.

"I'm Mrs. Gage. How's Johnny…he…he made it through surgery, didn't he?"

"Yes, he did. It was touch and go for a while, but we were able to pull him through it. He lost a lot of blood, but we were able to repair all the damage. I'm not going to lie to you, your husband's in very serious condition. The next 48 hours will be very critical for him. I'll keep you posted."

"When can I see him?"

"He'll be in recovery for a few hours before he's brought to the ICU. I'll make sure someone lets you know as soon as you can see him."

Kim nodded in understanding. "Thank you, Doctor Conway. Will Johnny make it?"

Kim and the others held their breaths waiting the doctor's response.

"It's too soon to say, but he's made it this far. I'll be in touch."

After the doctor left the room, Kim's face was drained of all its color. Noticing how pale Kim had become, Roy went over to her and helped her to sit down."

"Roy…"

Doing his best to maintain control of his own emotions, Roy tried to reassure her.

"Kim…you have to stay positive. Johnny is depending on all of us to keep the faith…to keep believing in him. Okay?"

All Kim could do was to nod her head.

"Chet, stay with your sister…I'm gonna go call the guys."

While Chet and Joanne stayed with Kim, Roy went to make his phone call. On the way, he ran into Doctor Brackett.

"Doc…I guess you heard about Johnny."

"Yes I did, Roy. I spoke to Dr. Conway a little while ago. How's Kim doing?"

"I don't know…she's trying her best to stay strong, but I don't know how much longer she can keep it up. I was just on my way to call the guys at the station."

"Use my office, Roy." The doctor offered.

"Thank you." An exhausted Roy answered.

Roy entered Brackett's office and nervously dialed the station's phone number. As he waited for the phone to be answered, his heart was racing. How would he tell Captain Stanley and the others that things could go either way for Johnny? Finally the phone was answered.

"Station 51, Captain Stanley here."

"Cap, it's Roy."

Hearing his paramedic's voice on the line, Hank's heart stopped beating for a few moments in anticipation of hearing the results of Johnny's surgery.

"Roy…you…you have some news on Johnny? He's still alive, isn't he?"

"Yeah. He made it through surgery. The surgeon said that it was touch and go, but they were able to get Johnny through it. Right now he's still in recovery. He'll be brought to the ICU sometime in the next few hours."

"What are they saying his chances are, Roy?"

"He's critical, Cap…the next 48 hours hold the answer to that question. I guess it could go either way."

"How's Kim?"

"It's been kinda rough for her. Chet and Joanne are with her right now. The Kelly's will be here in the morning, so that should help. I'll be in touch."

"Okay. Give all of our love to Kim, alright?"

"Sure thing."

Roy hung up the phone and exhaled deeply. He had been so intent on being strong for everyone else, that he hadn't given himself the opportunity to come to terms with his own emotions. So, he decided to take a few minutes for himself to think about Johnny and to pray for his best friend's recovery.

By the time Roy had returned to the lounge, Kim was asleep on the couch, her head on Chet's lap.

Looking at his watch, Roy saw that it was approaching 10PM.

"Jo, who's home with Chris and Jen?"

"Katy. Chet called her and she said that she'd stay and make sure they got to school okay in the morning if we didn't get there in time. I spoke to her a little while ago. She said that they're fine, but worried sick about Johnny."

"Chet, how are YOU holding up?" Roy asked quietly.

"Same as you, I guess. Seeing my sister like this…is really rough. Johnny's her whole world. If anything happened to him…"

"Yeah…" Roy replied, nodding his head in understanding.

"Hey, why don't I go down to the cafeteria and get us something to eat?"

As soon as Joanne had made the suggestion, Dixie entered carrying a tray with sandwiches and juice.

"I know you guys probably aren't hungry, but you all need your strength. All I was able to rustle up for you were some ham and cheese sandwiches. Hope you don't mind."

Roy smiled weakly. "Thanks Dix."

Chet spoke what he was thinking. "Ham and cheese…Johnny's favorite."

Roy heard Chet's comment about the sandwiches being Johnny's favorite, and nodded his head in understanding. "Yeah."

"How's Kim?"

"She finally fell asleep about 40 minutes ago…she's exhausted. Any word on Johnny, yet?"

"No…sorry. As far as I know he's still in recovery."

"Dixie, is it unusual to keep someone in recovery for so long?"

"Joanne, Johnny's critical…they want to make sure that he's perfectly stable before they move him to the ICU."

After another hour passed, Dr. Conway returned to the lounge.

"Johnny's settled in the ICU. You can see him now…but only two at a time…and only for a few minutes each."

Roy looked at Kim and asked the question that he knew she was afraid to ask.

"Doctor Conway, how's Johnny doing?"

"He is stable, and although his vitals are holding steady, he is in a coma. We have him on a ventilator to aid in his breathing. We've done our part…now he has to do his. I know you all are worried, but I will say…Johnny's made it this far…and that means something. I'll be in touch."

The doctor shook Roy's hand and left.

"Roy…a coma? That…that can't be good."

"Kim…Johnny's been through a lot. It's a way for his body…and his mind to get all the rest it needs. We all have to believe that he's going to be okay. I've known Johnny a lot longer than you…and one thing I've learned about him…you can never count him out. Now let's go see him."

"But…Dr. Conway said only two of us can see him at a time."

"Kim, there's a waiting room up there. Let's all go together. I'll go in with you, and then Chet and Joanne can see him."

The four of them went up to the ICU. While Joanne and Chet waited in the waiting room, Roy and Kim quietly entered Johnny's room.

Seeing Johnny so still and pale, and hooked up to the ventilator and all the monitors, was very difficult for Kim, but she remained strong.

"He's in a coma, Roy…can he hear us?"

"I don't know…but talk to him anyway. Tell him that you love him and need him."

"Johnny…it's Kim. I…I'm here. I don't know if you can hear me or not…but you need to know that I love you. I love you more than…than life itself. I need you to come back…and the girls…our beautiful girls…they need you too."

Kim bent down and kissed Johnny on the forehead. After Roy said a few things to his partner, the two of them left to let Joanne and Chet see Johnny.

After they each had an opportunity to see Johnny, they met in the waiting room.

Looking at his watch, Roy sighed. "It's really late. We won't be able to see Johnny again until 9AM. I think it'd be best if we all went home and tried to get some rest…Johnny needs us to be strong for him. If there are any changes in his condition, Brackett will call us."

Not wanting to leave, but agreeing with Roy, the four of them made their way home. Roy drove them all in Joanne's car where they went back to the station to get the other cars. Chet got his car and drove Kim home, while Roy and Joanne each drove separately.

Returning home, Roy and Joanne were met by Katy who had been staying with Chris and Jenny. She had been reading a magazine on the couch in the living room.

"How's Johnny?" She asked anxiously.

"He's in serious condition, but currently stable. Right now he's on a vent in the ICU. How are the kids?"

"They finally went to bed about an hour ago. They're so worried about Johnny. Chet's with Kim?"

"Yeah. He's gonna stay with her. Their folks'll be here in the morning."

"Thanks for staying with the kids, Katy. I know they're old enough to stay home by themselves, but knowing how upset they'd be about Johnny, we didn't want them left alone."

"It was no problem, Joanne. I'm off tomorrow, so if you need me…just call."

"Thank you…we will." said Joanne, giving the younger woman a hug.

Roy smiled at Katy and shook his head. "Johnny's right…Chet IS an idiot…he shoulda married you a long time ago."

Katy smiled in return. "Hopefully he'll come to his senses soon enough. Take care. Call me."

After Katy left, Roy and Joanne went upstairs. Before going to their own bedroom, they checked on their two kids. Chris was sound asleep in his bed, while Jennifer was also asleep in her bed, her arms wrapped around a stuffed Teddy bear that Johnny had given her back when she was four years old.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Over the next few days all of Johnny's friends and family took turns keeping vigil beside his bed. Doctor Brackett and Doctor Conway gave special permission for them to stay with Johnny in the ICU, in hopes of helping to bring him out of his coma. They would talk to him and read to him, and Kim even played "their" song…Nat King Cole's 'Unforgettable'.

It was three days after Johnny had first been brought to Rampart after being so seriously injured, that he had finally woke up. Kim, who had fallen asleep in the chair beside her husband's bed, had Johnny's left hand in hers.

Johnny slowly opened his eyes and let them take in his surroundings. He was acutely aware of a sensation in his mouth and down his throat, a sensation that he assumed meant that he was on a ventilator.

The slight movement of Johnny's head moving was enough to rouse Kim out of her light sleep. Becoming more awake, she realized that Johnny had woken up when she found herself looking into his brown eyes.

A sense of relief came over her, and she smiled at him. "Johnny."

She could sense his weariness and confusion. "Relax, Johnny…everything's okay. You're at Rampart on a vent."

While talking to Johnny and reassuring him, Kim had rung the call bell.

Entering Johnny's room, his ICU nurse Julianne was pleasantly surprised to see her patient awake. After checking the various monitors to make sure Johnny was stable, she called downstairs for Dr. Brackett.

"Johnny, it's nice to see you awake. I called for Dr. Brackett, he'll be here shortly. You're on a vent, so don't fight it…relax."

Within a few minutes, Brackett arrived. He too was pleasantly surprised that Johnny had finally woken up, but mostly relieved as well. It meant that Kim probably would not be a widow raising three girls on her own, after all.

"Johnny…welcome back." He said with a relieved smile.

Kim bent down and gave Johnny a kiss on his forehead. She knew that Brackett would be examining him and didn't want to be in the way.

"Johnny, I'm gonna step out for a few minutes to let them examine you. I'll be back…I love you."

Johnny, who was still holding Kim's hand, gave her hand a squeeze. Exhaling with relief, Kim left the room.

Doctor Brackett checked all Johnny's vitals and was quite pleased with the progress that the paramedic was making, especially after the very critical condition that he had arrived at Rampart in only a few days ago. He checked the chest tube. The collapsed lung appeared to be doing better, but Brackett feared that Johnny was heading for a pretty nasty case of pneumonia. The water that the paramedic had inadvertently ingested while he was trapped, certainly didn't help Johnny, and was one of the reasons why he was headed for pneumonia. After checking Johnny's breathing, it was determined that he needed to continue on the vent.

"Johnny, you're improving but I'd like to keep you on the vent for another few days. I'll give you some medication to make it more comfortable. I need to ask you a few questions. Blink your eyes, once for no, and twice for yes, okay?"

The paramedic blinked twice to assure the doctor that he understood the directions.

"Are you in much pain?"

Johnny closed his eyes and kept them closed for a moment.

"That wasn't one of the options, Johnny. Is this your way of telling me that you're in pain but it's no big deal?"

Johnny blinked his eyes twice.

"Well, we'll take care of that. Any numbness or tingling in your arms or legs?"

One blink was Johnny's response.

"Good."

Continuing with the exam, the doctor was pleased when Johnny was able to wiggle his toes and fingers.

After giving the medication orders to the nurse, Brackett patted Johnny on his good arm.

"Johnny, you're coming along nicely. Julianne will give you something to keep you comfortable. We'll keep you on the vent for now, and see how your breathing progresses. You get some rest. I'll check on you later."

Johnny blinked twice, but then kept on blinking.

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

Johnny blinked twice.

Suddenly it dawned on him what Johnny was getting at.

"Are you asking about Roy?"

Two blinks.

The doctor smiled. "Roy's fine…not a scratch. I'm sure he'll be by later to see you. Now…get some rest."

Before going out the door, Brackett turned around to take another look at his friend. **Once again, you cheated death Johnny** Smiling to himself, he went out to the hallway and made his way to Kim who was in the waiting room.

Seeing her concerned look, he smiled…no sign of the infamous twitch.

Kim visibly relaxed when she saw the doctor's smile.

"How's he doing?"

"He's stable and I am very pleased with his progress…"

Kim sensed the doctor's hesitation. "But…there's something else going on with Johnny…something that's got you worried."

"I'm afraid he IS headed for a bad case of pneumonia. Because of his lung issues and the water that he ingested while being trapped, his breathing is very compromised. Johnny's not strong enough to come off the vent, quite yet. He'll be on medication to keep him comfortable, as well as antibiotics to help fight the pneumonia. Cognitively he's fine and there are no spinal issues."

"But he'll be okay?" Kim unconsciously held her breath waiting for Brackett's response.

"Things are looking up for him…but he still has a long way to go. However, that husband of yours is a tough cookie, and I do believe that he'll pull through fine…but it will take time."

Kim let out the breath that she didn't realize she was holding.

"I'm so relieved. I thought maybe…maybe that he wasn't going to be okay."

"Johnny's been through a lot in his firefighting career…but he's overcome it all. Where Johnny's concerned, you can never count him out. You can go back to see him for a little while, but you both need your rest. Johnny's out of immediate danger now."

"Doctor Brackett, thank you." She leaned over and gave Kel a small kiss on his cheek.

"Well…don't thank ME, Kim…thank Johnny…he's the one who held on for you…for you and those little ones. I'll see you later. Go home and get some rest."

While Kim and Doctor Brackett were talking, Julianne had given Johnny the ordered medication.

"This will keep you comfortable, Johnny. Get some rest. Kim'll be right back."

Johnny blinked twice.

Julianne smiled at him and left. As she was leaving the room, Kim and Dr. Brackett were approaching her.

Kim looked nervously at the nurse. "How is he?"

"He's comfortable, Kim."

Brackett looked at Kim with concern. "You can see Johnny for another little while, but I want you to go home and get some rest…those girls need their mother to stay strong. I'll see you later."

After he left, Kim re-entered Johnny's room. Walking over to him, she bent down and kissed his forehead.

Despite being groggy from the heavy medication, Johnny fought to stay awake. Mustering all the strength he had, Johnny did his best to convey to Kim that he loved her and that he'd be okay. He managed a small wink and was able to squeeze her hand.

"I love you too, Johnny. You go to sleep…I'll stay until you do. Dr. Brackett wants me to go home and get some rest. Now that I know you'll be okay…**I **will be too."

With the medication taking affect, Johnny was quickly asleep. Leaning over her husband, Kim kissed Johnny on his forehead and brought his left hand up to her lips and kissed it.

"I love you, John Gage. I'll be back later. When I get home I'll give the girls each a big kiss from their Daddy."

Getting her sweater and purse from the chair, she made her way to the door, but turned around to take another look at Johnny.

As Kim passed by the nursing station, Julianne and the other nurses could see the relief on her face.

"Get some rest, Kim. We'll take good care of Johnny for you."

"Thank you. If…if there are any changes, please call me at home."

"Of course we will. Go get some rest."

Shortly after Kim left the hospital to go home, Roy and Joanne had arrived.

Entering through the ER entrance out of habit, the first person they met was a smiling Dr. Brackett.

Seeing his smile, they hoped that he had some good news about Johnny to share with them.

"Doc, I'm hoping that your smile means that you have some good news for us."

"I do. Johnny woke up about an hour ago."

"He woke up? How's he doing? Can we see him?"

"Whoa…one question at a time, Roy. Yes, he woke up. He's stable. He's fine cognitively…no spinal issues. His breathing is still lousy. I kept him on the vent…he'll probably be on it for another few days. The one thing that DOES worry me…he's heading for a rather nasty case of pneumonia. I'm afraid that with Johnny's weakened state, he'll have a lot of complications and won't be able to fight as hard as he might normally."

"Does Kim know about this?"

"She does. I didn't want to worry her more than she already is…so I didn't go into specifics. She just left…hasn't gotten much sleep since Johnny's been here."

"Can we see Johnny?" Roy asked hopefully.

"Okay, but only for a few minutes. He needs all the rest he can get if he's going to fight off this pneumonia."

"Thanks, Doc."

Joanne looked questioningly at the doctor. "He IS going to be alright, isn't he?"

"I do believe so…it's just going to take time…lots of it. You two go see Johnny…but only for a few minutes, okay?"

The two of them nodded in understanding, as they left the ER and headed for the ICU. When they arrived at the nurses' station, they stopped to talk to Johnny's nurse.

Julianne smiled warmly at the couple. "I guess you heard the good news about Johnny waking up."

"Yeah. Dr. Brackett said we could see him for a few minutes."

"Sure, but he's on some pretty heavy duty medication, so he won't be awake."

Roy smiled at his wife. "That's okay…I think we'll take that."

The two of them made their way to see Johnny, and as they entered the room, they could see how still he was…a far cry from how normally active Johnny was. Listening to all the sounds, they could hear the vent working, as well as the beeps and various sounds of all the monitors.

Walking over to Johnny's bed, Joanne bent down and kissed his forehead and stroked his hair.

"He's awfully warm, Roy."

"Yeah…that's the pneumonia setting in. Hey Junior, Joanne and I are here. We heard the news that you woke up and had to see it for ourselves. But here you are…sleeping on the job again."

As Roy was talking to Johnny, he and Joanne were both looking down at Johnny's face. Much to their surprise, two brown eyes lazily opened.

"Hey partner…welcome back."

Roy could tell by looking at Johnny's eyes that he was trying to say something.

"Johnny…do you need to tell me something?"

Johnny blinked his eyes once, but had a hard time opening them back up.

"No? Do you need to ASK me something?"

Roy could see two ever so weak blinks. "Okay…is it about Kim?"

One lazy blink was Johnny's response.

Suddenly a light of understanding came over Roy. "Paul…the victim from the apartment complex?"

Johnny weakly blinked twice.

Roy wasn't sure if he should tell Johnny the truth or not. Their friendship, built on trust and honesty, was what finally spurred Roy on to tell Johnny the truth.

"Johnny…I'm sorry…he didn't make it."

Johnny closed his eyes and a small tear made its way down his cheek.

Just then, Julianne came in and noticing the tear sliding down Johnny's cheek, she became concerned.

"What happened, Roy?"

"He woke up…wanted to know what happened to our victim from the collapse."

"He did? How did you figure that out?"

"We're partners, Julianne…partners just know these things. I had to tell him the truth…I owed him that much."

Realizing that Johnny desperately needed his rest, Roy and Joanne decided that they needed to go.

"Johnny, Jo and I are gonna head out now." Seeing Julianne take out the thermometer, and knowing how it was going to be used, Roy added, "I think Julianne wants to have her way with you. Get some rest, partner. We'll make sure Kim and the girls are okay…and we'll give Chris and Jenny a big hug from you."

Roy patted Johnny's left hand.

Jo bent down and gave Johnny another kiss on his forehead. "We love you Johnny…you're so important to us."

Johnny opened his eyes slowly, gave two very weak blinks and then they quickly slid shut.

Julianne smiled warmly at the couple. "He's in good hands."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

It wasn't until three days after Johnny woke up from the coma, that Brackett deemed Johnny's breathing strong enough to allow him to be taken off the vent. Despite now being off the vent, Johnny's condition was still serious, as he was severely weakened by a rather nasty case of pneumonia.

He was still in the ICU, the need for constant monitoring a necessity and the chest tube was still in place, as well. Johnny continued to be on some heavy medication that not only kept him comfortable, but also made him extremely groggy.

After enduring the removal of the endo-tracheal tube and further examinations, Johnny was exhausted. He was sleeping soundly when Roy quietly entered the room.

Looking up from her usual perch beside her husband's bed, Kim smiled at the paramedic.

"Roy."

"How's he doing?"

"Minute by minute…getting a little better, I guess. Dr. Brackett took him off the vent a couple hours ago and he seems to be tolerating it pretty well."

Roy looked over at his sleeping partner. Johnny's deceptively peaceful face belied the fact that he was still in serious condition. His face was deathly pale and he sported a nasal cannula for the oxygen, but as Johnny slept, his ragged breathing could be heard.

Walking towards Kim, he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "How are YOU doing?"

"Better, now that Johnny's off the vent. How 'bout you, Roy? I know this hasn't been easy for you, either."

"I guess like you…better now that I know he's improving." Reaching down to touch his partner's hand, Roy could feel how warm Johnny was. "He's really warm."

"Yeah…103. They're giving him some medication to help with his fever. Dr. Brackett said it's to be expected."

Looking at his watch, Roy sighed softly. "Well…I better get going. Kirby is waiting for me downstairs."

"Working with Kirby again?"

"Yeah. He never got a permanent assignment so he's been filling in for other guys."

"Like Johnny." Kim's tone was very wistful.

"Johnny will ALWAYS be my partner, Kim. When Johnny wakes up, will you tell him that I was here and that I'll stop by later to see him?"

"Of course. Roy…thanks for being here for me…you AND Joanne. I don't know how I woulda gotten through things to this point without you both."

"We're family, Kim…we stick together. I'll see you later."

Roy left the room, relieved that at least Johnny was now off the vent, but concerned that he was in the throes of such a severe case of pneumonia…a complication that Johnny certainly didn't need on top of everything else.

Johnny continued to sleep through most of the day. It wasn't until almost 9PM that he woke up.

Giving Kim a break to go home and spend time with the girls, Joanne was now sitting with Johnny.

Seeing Johnny's eyes open, she smiled warmly at the paramedic.

"Hey, sleepy head."

In a very raspy voice, Johnny responded. "Joanne…is that you?"

"Yeah it's me, Johnny. I sent Kim home. How are you feeling?" As she was talking to him, she wiped his face and neck with a cool cloth.

"Not too good. My…my chest hurts…and I'm so hot."

"I know…it's the pneumonia, Johnny, and Dr. Brackett is doing everything he can to keep you comfortable…and to get you better. The best thing you can do is sleep."

"Roy…how…how's he doin'?"

"He's okay…we're all okay, especially now that we know you're doing better. He's been by a few times, but you've been sound asleep…and we all have orders not to disturb you."

Johnny slowly licked his dry lips.

"Thirsty?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Let me find out if you can have some water. I'll be right back."

Joanne left and came back a few minutes later with a cup of ice.

"They suggested ice chips. That okay?"

"Fine." He rasped out.

Joanne spooned a few ice chips into Johnny's mouth.

"How's that…better?"

"Feels good." Johnny replied, his eyes starting to close.

"Tired?"

"Doesn't matter…sleep is all I CAN do. I…I miss my girls…haven't seen them in over a week…and I miss holding Kim in my arms."

"Maybe when you get transferred out of the ICU, Kim can bring the girls in. As for Kim…it's just a matter of time before you'll hold her again."

"Roy's a lucky man to have found a woman like you."

"And you're a lucky man to have found a woman like Kim. Why don't you try to go back to sleep."

"Will you stay?" He asked hopefully.

"You bet."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Two days later Dr. Brackett took out the chest tube.

"How does that feel, Johnny?" Kel asked, a look of concern on his face.

"Better, Doc. When will I be getting outta here?"

"If you mean here…as in the ICU…a couple more days. If you mean here…as in Rampart…a bit longer than that. You're still very weak, Johnny, and your temp is still running at 103. Until we get a better handle on your pneumonia…I'm afraid you aren't going ANY where."

"You think maybe you could cut back on some of these meds? They make me incredibly tired…all I do is sleep."

"That's the idea, Johnny. Because the more rest you get…the better off you'll be. Right now, that's exactly what you need."

"Doc…my girls…when can I see them? I really miss 'em."

"I know you do, but we certainly can't bring them to the ICU…it could prove too dangerous for you…AND for them. They could get sick from you…and they could bring something in with them. I will make a compromise…in a couple days you can see Chris and Jenny DeSoto. According to Roy and Joanne, they're really worried about you. I think letting them see you will go a long way to easing their worries. You get some rest and I'll check on you later."

After patting Johnny's leg, Brackett left the room and made his way back downstairs to the ER. When he returned to the ER, he met the two paramedics on 51's B-Shift, Shane Reynolds and Chris Fletcher.

"Shane…Chris."

"Hey, Doc. How's Johnny doing?"

"Holding his own, Shane."

"Roy said he's off the vent."

"Yes…he's been for a few days now. I hope to move him out of the ICU sometime in the next week."

In the middle of their conversation, Dr. Brackett got a page.

"I gotta go…see you guys later. I'll tell Johnny you were asking about him."

Meanwhile back in the ICU, Johnny tried to relax his mind and body enough to fall asleep, but couldn't.

Checking on him was his nurse Lauren. She was surprised to see him awake.

"Johnny…you okay?"

"Trying to be. Julianne's off?"

Lauren smiled at Johnny in understanding. Julianne had been Johnny's main nurse since he had arrived in the ICU, and the two of them had developed a kind of bond.

"Yes. She'll be back in two days…but it will make you happy to know that she calls here a few times a day to see how you're doing. Now what can I do for you to make you more comfortable?"

"Nothing…I'm okay. Guess I just need to stop thinkin' so much."

Lauren was concerned with her patient's melancholy tone. "Anything you wanna talk about?"

"Don't have the…strength to." Johnny closed his eyes but continued to talk softly. "Will you call Kim for me? Tell her…tell her I need her."

"Okay Johnny, I'll call her, but in the meantime, try to get some rest."

Lauren left to call Kim.

When Kim got the phone call, she feared at first that Johnny had taken a turn for the worse. Once she was assured that Johnny was in fact stable, she breathed a sigh of relief and told Lauren that she would be there as soon as she could.

Arriving at the hospital, Kim spoke to Lauren before going to Johnny's room.

"Lauren…what exactly is going on? Is Johnny okay?"

"He's holding his own. I didn't mean to worry you over the phone, Kim…it's just that Johnny seems to be having a tough time right now. Dr. Brackett took the chest tube out today, and I think Johnny's just hurting and frustrated. He wouldn't have asked me to call you if he didn't really need to see you."

When Kim entered Johnny's room, her heart sank. Johnny's eyes were half opened, he seemed to be paler than she'd seen him even a couple days earlier, and he appeared to be crying.

She approached his bed quietly…he didn't even seem to know she was there.

Softly, Kim said his name. "Johnny…I'm here."

Johnny turned his head to face his wife. "Hold me…I don't wanna die."

"Shhh…you're not gonna die." She leaned over Johnny and gently embraced him. Sitting down in the chair, Kim continued to hold his left hand and stroke his hair. She then started to sing to him in a very soft voice, the same way that she sang to her babies. The song was an Irish lullaby that her parents had sung to her and Chet when they were small.

Within five minutes, Johnny had relaxed enough and, no longer fighting the medication, was finally asleep. Kim continued to sit and hold his hand.

With the medication doing its job, Johnny slept through the night. Waking up the next day around 11AM, he had no recollection of having had a bad time of it the day before.

Greeting him with a smile was Dixie.

"Hey handsome."

"Dix…that you?" Johnny asked uncertainly.

"It's me, Johnny. Your fever finally broke. You keep improving and Dr. Brackett will move you out of the ICU. Hungry?"

"No…truthfully food is the last thing on my mind."

"You should try to eat…you need to get your strength back."

"I'll try."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Over the next week, Johnny's condition continued to improve, and he was transferred to a private room. It was a Saturday afternoon when the entire DeSoto family was visiting. It had marked the first time in almost three weeks that Johnny had seen Chris and Jennifer.

"Uncle Johnny, I'm glad that you're feeling better…it was a long time before we were finally able see you."

Johnny smiled weakly. Although his condition was improved, he was still weak from the pneumonia, and despite doing his best to project a more positive attitude, was still feeling lousy.

"Me too, Jen. I missed you and your brother a lot."

Joanne smiled at Johnny. "It certainly is great to have you out of the ICU. You must be relieved not to have all those tubes and monitors anymore."

"Yeah, that's for sure."

After a few more minutes of conversation, it became obvious to everyone that Johnny was getting very tired and not feeling very well.

"Johnny, I think we should get going, you look exhausted. Roy, I'll take the kids and meet you downstairs."

Johnny nodded his head. "'Kay. Take care guys."

Joanne and the kids hugged Johnny and left, leaving Roy alone with his partner.

Roy looked with concern at his best friend. "Johnny…you're not doing as well as you're letting on, are you?"

"I'm doin' okay, Roy so please don't make a big deal about it. Like Jo said…it's just good to finally be outta the ICU."

"Johnny…"

"Go home, Roy…I'll be fine. It was great to see the kids today…hopefully I'll see my own kids before too long."

"Anything I can get you?"

"Nope…just gonna go to sleep." Johnny responded softly.

"Okay. I go back on duty tomorrow so I'll stop by when I get the chance. Take care, Junior."

"You too, Pally."

Once Roy left, Johnny closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. He had been half asleep when another visitor entered his room, calling his name softly.

"Johnny…"

Lazily opening his eyes, Johnny smiled when he saw who his visitor was.

"Julianne."

"I'm sorry if I woke you up."

"It's okay…I've got plenty of time to sleep. How've you been?"

"I should be the one asking that question. I'm fine. I go on shift in an hour but I thought I'd stop by to see you. How are you doing?"

"Better than I was…guess I should be thankful for small miracles."

"Johnny…you making it this far was no SMALL miracle. We're all grateful you're still with us."

"I am too…believe me. Roy and his family left not too long ago…and Kim and my in-laws were here this morning."

"Sounds like you've had a busy day. I better get going, I'll check on you later."

"Thanks for stopping by, Julianne."

She bent down and kissed Johnny's cheek.

It wasn't until dinner time rolled around that Johnny was once again awake.

Smiling as she carried in his dinner tray was Dixie.

"Hello there, sleepy head, it's dinner time. Dr. Brackett insists that we get you back to eating…or you just might end up here even longer than you want to be."

"Ahhh…Dix…I'm really not hungry."

"That's too bad…doctor's orders, Johnny."

Setting the tray down and uncovering it, Dixie pulled over the chair and sat down.

Looking at the plate, Johnny made a face. "Scrambled eggs, toast, broth, and jello?"

"We'll try for the fillet mignon and lobster tomorrow, okay?" She said with a smile.

"You find this amusing, Dix?"

"No…not at all. Johnny, it's just that it's important that you try to eat again. Heavier foods will come later. Look, eat this for a few days…I'll try to smuggle in a few burgers at the end of the week."

Johnny let out a sigh.

"Okay…you got yourself a deal, Dix."

Dixie rolled up the head of Johnny's bed slightly, and pushed the tray table over his bed.

"You can manage with your left hand, okay?"

"I'll be fine, Dix…thanks."

"Use your call bell if you need help."

"Yes ma'am." Johnny nodded.

Dixie left the room and made her way back to the ER.

As Johnny was attempting to eat dinner, he received another visitor.

"Johnny Gage."

Johnny looked up and smiled…it was his good friend Murphy Greenbush.

"Hey Murph. You sure are a sight for sore eyes."

"Things that bad, Johnny? You know I HAVE been by several times…you were out cold every time."

"Sorry 'bout that. It's good to see you. How've you been?"

"Me? I'm fine…you're the one who was almost turned into a pancake."

"I'm alright but I'll be better when I can get the hell outta here. I miss my girls…and I miss being with my wife. It feels like a lifetime ago since I was home with my family."

Johnny and Murphy talked for another hour.

"Well, I best be going. I'll be in touch, Johnny…I'm glad to see you're doing okay."

"I am…you take it easy out there, Murph, I'm not out there to take care of ya."

"Well…Roy is…and…well he is the number one paramedic around." Murphy replied with a big grin.

Murphy gave Johnny a wink and patted him on the shoulder.

"Bye, Murph."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

After eating bland food for another few days, Dixie had kept her promise and brought in some burgers, fries, and a chocolate milkshake from Johnny's favorite hamburger joint.

"Dix…you are beautiful." Johnny couldn't help smiling.

"I always keep my promises, Johnny. Dr. Brackett is pleased with your progress. He says that you could be going home in a few days."

"Really?" Johnny was actually quite surprised, and thought that maybe Dixie was pulling his keg.

"That is unless you really wanna stay longer."

"No thanks…I've done MY time."

"Well, I better head back. I'll see you later."

"Hey…thanks for the burgers…you sure are a lifesaver, Dix."

The next morning Dr. Brackett stopped by Johnny's room on his rounds.

"Good morning, Johnny."

"Mornin' Doc. What's the good word?"

"Well…I'd like to run some tests today, and if everything checks out okay…how would you like to go home in…oh, about two days?"

Johnny looked at the doctor incredulously. "Two days? You wouldn't be pulling my leg, Doc…would ya?"

"Nope. I'll send the nurse in for some blood work then we'll take some x-rays and a new CT-scan. I'll see you in a bit."

As Brackett was leaving Johnny's room, he met Kim in the hallway.

"Doctor Brackett…how's Johnny doing today?"

Kel was smiling as he answered the young woman. "Happy. I'll let him tell you the good news himself. See you later."

Kim made her way to Johnny's room and upon entering was relieved to see her husband looking more relaxed and happy than he had been in quite a few weeks.

"Hey there. Dr. Brackett said you were happy…and judging by the goofy grin on your face, I'd say you are. What's going on?"

Johnny turned off the TV and put the remote down.

"Hey beautiful…come here."

Going over to Johnny's bed, Kim bent down and kissed him…a long passionate kiss.

"Yes…I am happy. Brackett says that I could be outta here in two days. I miss being home so much…being with you and the girls."

While Kim and Johnny were talking Pat, one of the nurses, entered the room.

Eyeing the tray that the nurse was carrying, Johnny groaned.

"Pat, I don't suppose that that needle is meant for someone else, by any chance is it?"

The nurse shook her head. "Sorry Johnny…I WILL try to be gentle, though."

Pat swabbed Johnny's left arm and prepared to draw some blood.

"Ready?"

The paramedic squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced. "I guess."

After the blood was drawn, a gauze pad was put on Johnny's arm, and he was told to keep his arm bent.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Oh…it was loads of fun. Can we do it again? Please?"

The nurse shook her head. "How do you stand him, Kim?"

Kim could only shrug her shoulders and smile in return. "I don't know…I just do."

Pat looked curiously at Johnny. "You're a paramedic, Johnny…how can you be so afraid of needles?"

Johnny looked back at the nurse matter-of-factly. "Well…using them on someone else and getting them used on you…are two very different things. You're a nurse…I'm sure that you're not exactly thrilled when you have to get a shot or something."

"Women are different than men, Johnny…we're not wimps like you guys are. Your wife is a great example of that…she gave birth to triplets."

Pat gathered up her supplies. "Take care…I'll see you guys later."

After the nurse left, Johnny and Kim resumed their conversation.

"So what's the first thing you're going to do when you get home?"

Johnny grinned ear to ear. "I'm going to hug my girls and spoil them rotten with attention. The second thing I'm going to do…hold you in my arms and not let you go for hours. Kim, I hope you know how much I love you. I couldn't imagine…well, I guess I COULD imagine…what these last few weeks have been like for you. I hope you never have to go through anything like this again."

"Me too."

In the course of that morning, Dr. Brackett ran the rest of the ordered tests and had determined that Johnny was recovered enough to be discharged home.

"Well Johnny…it looks like you'll be out of here in two days…assuming that you eat well…after all, you will need all of your strength to fully recover."

"It's a deal, Doc."

Kel smiled warmly at Johnny and patted his leg. "Good. Take it easy…I'll see you later."

Later that afternoon, Roy and Johnny were sitting in the hospital courtyard talking…a very serious expression on Johnny's face.

"Roy…I…I never got to thank you for saving my life."

"Uh…I think the doctors had a bigger hand in that than I did, Johnny."

"No…Roy, YOU saved my life. I didn't know until recently that I had gone into cardiac arrest after you got me out."

"I was just doing what the doctor told me to do. There were so many people who had helped you that day…and not just our crew…there were a lot of crews working with us. And Danny and Justin helped me with your care, too."

"Roy…you gave me my life back…you didn't let me die."

"Johnny…"

"Roy…listen to me. You came back for me, and I can't begin to tell you how relieved I was when I heard you calling my name. Before I heard you…I…I assumed I was gonna die. I knew I was in bad shape, Roy…but you came back for me. I can't tell you enough how grateful to you I am."

"Well…I guess we're even…'cause I can't begin to tell you how grateful** I** am that you're still here…and that I still have you as my best friend. I know you'd have done the same for me, Johnny."

"In a heartbeat, Roy. It's hard to believe that I'm finally getting outta here. It feels like an entire lifetime since I've been home."

"I bet. I know Kim will be happy to have you back home."

"That's for sure. She may never let me out of her sight again." Johnny paused for a moment before continuing. "So…how's Kirby doing? I hear you two make a good team."

"He's fine…but you don't have to worry about him taking your place. There's only room in my life for ONE partner…and that's YOU, Junior."

The two friends continued to talk, discussing work, family, and other goings on. They had been so engrossed in conversation, that they didn't realize it was already four o'clock.

Roy looked at his watch and was surprised when he realized how late it was. "It's already four, Johnny. I should get going…Joanne's expecting me home."

"Yeah…you should go."

"I'll take you back."

"No, that's okay, I'll get back alright. You go home…give my love to Jo and the kids."

"Johnny…"

"Roy, what do you think is gonna happen to me while I am out here? I'm at a hospital for goodness sake. I'll be fine…really."

"Okay…well, I guess the next time I'll see you, you'll be home."

Johnny grinned and nodded his head. "Home…I like the sound of that."

"I do too. Take care, partner."

After Roy left to go home, Johnny continued to sit out in the courtyard, enjoying the fresh air and thinking about how truly blessed he was to still be alive.

In the middle of his reverie, he heard a soft voice calling his name.

"Johnny?"

Looking up, Johnny was happy to see the lovely face of Julianne.

The paramedic smiled his famous grin. "Hi there."

"Hi yourself. I was looking all over for you."

"Well…you found me. Roy just left not too long ago and I wanted to stay out here a little longer. You just getting on shift?"

"Yeah. Johnny…I'm glad you're okay. After seeing you in the ICU those first few days…I don't think too many people thought you'd pull through."

"Surprise. I have so many people to thank for helping me to get through this…you're one of them, Julianne…thank you."

"You're welcome, Johnny. But, like everyone else…I was just doing my job. I am really glad that this story is gonna have a happy ending. Kim's a lucky lady to have a man like you."

"I'M the lucky one, Julianne. Kim's been my rock…I don't know what I'd have done without her. I almost made her a widow…I don't want her to go through that ever again."

"So what are you going to do?"

Shrugging his shoulders, Johnny replied, "I'm not sure."

"It's almost dinner time, you want a lift back to your room?"

"Well…if you're offering…"

Returning to his room, Johnny was actually quite tired. After Julianne had helped him back into bed, he leaned his head back on the pillow.

"Thanks for the help. I hope you have a good shift."

"You're welcome…and so do I. I'll see you later on my break."

"It's a date."

While one nurse left his room, another one was coming in…Dixie, carrying a dinner tray.

"Hi Johnny, I see your friend just left."

"Julianne?"

"Yeah…that's the one. The two of you have become quite friendly."

"She's been a lifesaver, Dix. I mean, I know there were other nurses in the ICU…but Julianne's always been there for me."

"You don't have to explain yourself, Johnny. After going through everything that you have…I'm glad that Julianne's been there for you…and besides she is a very sweet girl. Anyway, here's dinner. I know you've had quite a day, and your days are only gonna get more hectic as you get ready to go home. So…it's very important that you eat to keep up your strength."

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Yes, General McCall."

Dixie shook her head in exasperation. "I for one will be glad when you get out of here, John Gage."

After getting Johnny situated to eat, Dixie left the room smiling.

When Johnny lifted the lid off the tray, he sighed in disgust when he realized what was on the plate…liver.

Resigning himself to the fact that he'd be stuck eating the liver, Johnny started to eat. He had eaten one mouthful when he realized someone had entered his room. Looking up he was pleased to see who his visitor was.

"John Gage."

Johnny smiled at his guest. "Captain Stone."

Stoney came over to Johnny and shook his left hand. "How ya doin', John?"

"Pretty good…I'll be getting' outta here in two days. How 'bout you?"

"Terrific."

John eyed the bag that was in his friend's hand.

"Uh…whatch'ya got in the bag?" Johnny asked curiously.

The captain smiled mysteriously, and nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. "What bag are you talkin' about, John?"

"Oh…come on, you know darn well what bag I'm talking about."

Laughing, Stoney shook his head. "Here…I had a feeling that you weren't too happy with the food that you've been eating, so I stopped at the burger stand around the corner from the hospital."

Johnny opened the bag that he had been handed, and smiled at the contents…two burgers and some fries. After his friend had removed the dinner tray, Johnny emptied the contents of the bag onto the table.

"I didn't get you anything to drink…I figured that the apple juice would suffice."

The paramedic was all smiles as he started to unwrap the first burger. "Stoney…you're a real lifesaver."

"I bet you tell that to everyone who brings you burgers, John."

"Maybe…but it sure beats liver."

Johnny and Captain Stone talked for another hour while Johnny ate. To make like he ate his dinner, the paramedic put his liver and vegetables in the burger bag and then handed the bag back to his friend.

"What am I gonna do with this, John?" Stoney asked with a bit of confusion.

"Take it with you, Stoney…and toss it on your way out. If Brackett busts me…they might make me stay longer or something."

The fire captain laughed before turning more serious. "I'm glad you're okay, John…a lot of people would have missed you."

"Well…I AM fine…I'll be good as new in no time. Thanks for stopping by, Stoney…it means a lot."

The captain smiled at his friend. "No problem…we go back a ways. I'll be in touch, John. Don't give the nurses a hard time…you only have two more days to go."

"I'll try not to."

After Captain Stone left, Johnny once again made himself comfortable and turned on the TV.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The next day went by quickly. It was after dinner that Kim was sitting with Johnny.

"Ready for your big day tomorrow?" She asked with a knowing look.

"More than ready…I've been dreaming about it for so long. I have missed being home with you and the girls so much…being a family. Not to mention how I missed our nice comfortable bed and my recliner."

"Well, I do believe that you'll still be spending a bit of your time in those two places."

"And…will you be joining me?" Johnny questioned with a twinkle in his eyes.

"John Gage…I see that despite everything you've been through…you still have a one track mind."

"With you for a wife…can you blame me?" He replied grinning.

"I should get going…I have a lot to do before you come home tomorrow."

"Like what?" Johnny asked curiously.

"Well…just getting the house ready for you. I want everything to be perfect for you."

"Kim, as long as you and the girls are there…it WILL be perfect."

"I'll see you in the morning…to take you home."

The paramedic smiled at his wife. "Home…that has a nice ring to it. I'll be right here waitin' for ya."

The couple exchanged a passionate kiss.

"Sweet dreams, sweetheart…tomorrow night I'll be beside you…where I belong."

"I love you, Johnny."

"Right back at ya."

After Kim left to go home, and Johnny was again by himself, he was unsure of what to do. He knew that despite the time only being 7PM that he should be tired, but he wasn't. He didn't feel like watching TV, and all the magazines he had, he had read several times each. Finally, he put his head back on the pillow and allowed himself to think back over the last few weeks. Considering how close he came to dying, Johnny felt extremely lucky to still be among the living.

In the middle of his reverie, Dixie and Dr. Brackett entered his room.

Looking up, Johnny smiled when he saw his visitors. "Doctor Brackett…Dixie…what brings the two of you to my neck of the woods?"

"You do, Johnny. Dixie and I are off tomorrow, and we're heading out now…so we wanted to say good bye and good luck to you now."

"Thanks…I mean really. Everything the two of you and everyone else have done for me…I will never forget it…ever. You all helped to save my life."

Brackett smiled and said, "And it's a life that was worth saving, Johnny. You have a long happy life ahead of you."

Johnny had been about to say something but stopped when his emotions started to get the better of him.

Dixie grinned at the paramedic. "That goes double for me, I'm glad this chapter had a happy ending. We'll see you soon, Johnny…don't be a stranger."

"I won't." Johnny paused and after thinking for a few moments continued. "If you guys are off tomorrow…who's gonna let me outta here?"

"Doctor Early, Johnny…he'll take good care of you."

"So…what ARE you two kids going to do tomorrow, Doc?" Johnny asked with raised eyebrows.

"Are you implying something, Johnny?"

Shaking his head, Johnny smiled and said, "No sir…not me."

"Get some rest, hose jockey."

Brackett shook Johnny's hand and Dixie gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"'Night."

The next morning Johnny was up at the crack of dawn, having been too excited to get any real sleep. Sitting in a chair by the window, Johnny was watching as the sun came up and the sky was gradually getting lighter.

Interrupting the paramedic's thoughts, the nurse came in with his breakfast tray.

Smiling, she put the tray down on his bed table.

"Good morning, Johnny."

"Mornin' Megan."

"So today's the big day…no wonder you're up so early."

"Yeah…couldn't sleep…and I'm really not even very hungry."

"Well, I have my orders to make sure you eat a good breakfast."

"Yeah? Whose orders?" He quietly demanded.

"Doctor Brackett's…and I'M not getting on the wrong side of that man."

"He's not even here today, Megan…relax."

"It doesn't matter. Are you coming over to the bed…or are you going to eat in the chair by the window?"

Johnny sighed…he knew he wouldn't win this one.

"You can bring it over here…thank you."

Megan rolled the tray table over to where Johnny was sitting, and stood waiting while the paramedic lifted the lid off the food.

Much to his surprise and delight, rather than the runny eggs and dry toast that he had been expecting, he saw two hamburgers and French fires on the plate…and a note. Reading the note, Johnny was very surprised.

"Surprise! I thought I'd get you a going-away present…hope you enjoy it!

Doctor Brackett

PS-You didn't really think that I wouldn't know about the smuggled burgers you've had during the last couple weeks, did you?"

Megan smiled at Johnny. "Enjoy!"

Around 8 AM, Dr. Early arrived to check in with his patient.

"Johnny…"

"Hey Doc, I guess you drew the short straw. You're workin' and Dr. Brackett is off."

The kindly doctor smiled. "Somebody had to work, Johnny…but this is a day that I am definitely happy to be here for. How are you feeling?"

"Well…110% better than I did about four weeks ago, but I guess it'll be some time before I'm back to my old self again."

"Probably. I'd like to take your vitals and go over your medication orders…then I can let you go on your merry way."

"Sounds good."

After a quick examination, Dr. Early deemed the paramedic ready for discharge.

"You're all set Johnny. I don't want you doing too much…and to make sure you get plenty of rest. Any pain, please make sure you take your medication…and eat, okay?"

"Sure thing, Doc. I appreciate everything you and everyone else has done for me…more than I can ever say."

"No thanks are necessary. Believe me when I say this…we are all grateful that you are still with us, Johnny. Stop by the ER on your way out and say good bye, alright?"

"You bet."

Dr. Early signed Johnny's paperwork and handed him his prescriptions. He then shook Johnny's hand and left.

Johnny carefully made his way to the closet where a change of clothes were hanging and went to the bathroom to change. After changing and washing up, Johnny sat down and awaited the arrival of his wife.

Waiting anxiously for Kim to arrive, Johnny was surprised when he looked up and saw his partner entering the room.

"Roy?"

"Hey Johnny."

"What are doing here?" He asked with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

Roy smiled at his best friend. "It's nice to see you too, partner."

Johnny grinned sheepishly. "Oh, I'm sorry Roy…I didn't mean that I'm disappointed to see ya…just surprised. Yesterday, neither you nor Kim mentioned anything about you taking me home, but I really am glad to see you. Where's Kim?"

"She's here…I think she was talking to one of the nurses. She was feeling a little tired, so I offered to come with her. I drove."

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine Johnny…it's just that these last few weeks have been stressful for her…I think it's all catching up to her."

Just then Kim arrived with a nurse pushing a wheelchair, in tow.

Johnny smiled at the sight of his wife, but groaned when he saw the wheelchair.

The nurse looked sweetly at the dark-haired paramedic. "Johnny, you've been a patient here enough times to know that this is policy."

"Yeah…yeah…yeah."

Trying to get up from the chair he was sitting in, but having trouble, he allowed Roy to help him up and into the wheelchair. After sitting down, Kim came over to him and gave him a big kiss.

Roy picked up Johnny's bags and followed behind as the nurse wheeled him out of the room. Going down the hallway towards the elevator, Johnny waved to everyone as he passed by.

Going down to the ER, Johnny once again said good bye to Dr. Early.

The grey-haired doctor smiled at all three of them.

"I'm glad you're finally leaving us, Johnny. Take care of yourself…and good luck to you…to ALL of you."

"Thanks, Dr. Early. It feels great to finally be getting outta here. Where's Dr. Morton?"

"He's with a patient. I'll be sure to tell him that you said thank you and good-bye."

The base station radio went off, interrupting their good-byes.

"Gotta go…take care Johnny…Roy…Kim."

Going out the ER doors, Kim took over pushing Johnny's wheelchair. Wheeling him to Roy's car, she helped him into the front passenger seat then got in behind him.

"How does it feel to finally be sprung from this place, Johnny?"

"It feels great, Roy. I can't believe it…I'm going to be home in a little while. How are the girls, Kim?"

"They're fine…but I know they miss their daddy. You should see them, they're getting so big."

"And…how are YOU doing my dear?"

"Well…I was pretty worried for a while, but now that I can see for myself that you're okay…I'M okay, too."

Arriving at Johnny and Kim's house, Roy pulled into the driveway. After helping Johnny out of the car, Kim and Roy helped Johnny into the house. When the door opened, Johnny was greeted by a chorus of "Welcome Home!"

Looking around the room, he was touched by all of the people who were there to welcome him home. Besides the Kelly's, there were all the guys from the station, including Kirby and Charlie Dwyer. Marco's mother and Hank's wife were there as well. Joanne and the kids, whom Roy had allowed to stay home from school for the special occasion, were front and center. But the people he was perhaps most touched to see more than anyone else, were several people from Rampart; Brackett and Dixie, Doctors Conway and Oliver, the two surgeons who essentially saved Johnny's life, and Julianne, his favorite ICU nurse. Johnny was overwhelmed.

"Welcome home, pal."

"Thanks Cap. Dix, I thought you and Dr. Brackett were off today."

"We are Johnny…for this very special occasion." She replied with a warm smile.

"And Dr. Conway and Dr. Oliver…it's great to see you."

Doctor Conway smiled. "It's great to see YOU too."

Johnny was helped to his favorite recliner…he was getting tired.

"Where are my girls?"

"They're sleeping Johnny. They were pretty fussy this morning, but I promise, as soon as they're up…they're all yours."

Johnny's eyes continued to wander the room. He was clearly overwhelmed at all the attention he was getting.

"Gage…we're all here because of you…I think you owe us a speech or something."

The paramedic smiled shyly. He knew Chet was right. "Well…I do have a few things I would like to say…but I can sum them all up in only a few words…thank you…to all of you…for saving my life…and for being there for my wife…as well as continuing to be there for me and my family. Truthfully, saying thank you doesn't seem like enough, but it's the only thing I can think of to say. Looking around the room at all of you…my friends and family…I am truly in awe and overwhelmed that you'd take the time to welcome me home. Thank you…I love you all."

Kim, who was standing beside her husband bent down and kissed him.

In honor of his coming home, his in-laws had paid for all the food…plenty for everyone.

As everyone sat around eating, Johnny smiled content in knowing he was back where he belonged…home. He began to think that maybe there was such a thing as a happy ending, after all.

Joanne and the kids made their way over to Johnny, where he was greeted with hugs and kisses.

"Uncle Johnny, I am so glad that you're home again. We all missed you a whole lot."

"Thanks Jen…I missed you guys a whole lot too."

After talking to Jo and the kids for a while, Dr. Brackett came over to him, smiling.

"So…did you like your special breakfast this morning?"

"I did. I'm not even gonna ask how you pulled it off…but thank you."

After two hours of catching up with all his friends, Johnny was exhausted and in a bit of pain. Seeing this, everyone started to say their good-byes. The last people to leave were Roy and his family. After everyone left, Kim helped Johnny up the stairs and into bed.

Once Johnny was comfortably in bed, Kim gave him his medication.

"Kim…I love you…thank you for being my wife."

"Johnny…I love you so very much. Having you home again…safe and sound…is the greatest gift I could ever have gotten. Get some sleep and when you wake up later, you can see the girls."

Kim kissed her husband and left the room. Heading downstairs, she was met by her parents.

"Go lie down with your husband…you're exhausted. Your father and I will clean up and watch the girls."

"You're sure, Mom?"

"Go ahead, sweetheart…your mother and I will take care of everything…stay with Johnny."

Mr. Kelly kissed his daughter.

Kim went back upstairs to the bedroom, and after taking off her shoes, she carefully got into bed beside Johnny. Softly kissing his lips, she lay down and was asleep in minutes.

It wasn't until almost 6 PM that Kim woke up, and turning her head, saw Johnny sitting up looking at her.

"How long have you been awake?"

"An hour…I've been lying here, watching you sleep. It's been so long since I've been able to do that. I am so sorry for you having to go through everything that you did, these last few weeks. I don't want you ever to have to go through that again…I mean it."

"And how are you going to assure that? You can't…look what you do for a living."

"I don't have to do it anymore…there are other things I can do."

"Johnny…you love your job…and you love working with Roy."

"I do…but I love you and our girls more. Look at my track record, Kim. The first time we told each other how really felt about each other, it was in the hospital after I got hit on the head with the squad door…"

"Johnny, that wasn't your fault."

"Then there was the accident in the ambulance two summers ago…passing out at that fire from the flu…the car accident in Hawaii on our honeymoon…getting injured at the fire the day our girls were born…and this most recent mess. And those are only since we've been together. Kim…the bottom line is…I don't want to make you a widow…and I don't wanna lose what I have."

"You're not going to lose what you have, Johnny."

"You don't know that, Kim…things can change in a heartbeat…and they almost did."

"Well…you have awhile before Brackett will clear you to go back to work, anyway. Promise me that you'll think about it before making any decisions, okay?"

"Maybe."

Kim looked over at the clock on her nightstand. "6 PM…boy…I guess I was more tired than I thought. The girls should be up. You wanna finally see them?"

"More than anything."

Kim helped Johnny up and they made their way to the nursery. Entering the room, two of the girls were awake, Callie and Cassie, their two youngest daughters.

Johnny sat down in the recliner and Kim handed him first Callie and then Cassie and despite his broken right arm, he was able to hold both babies in his lap.

Softly speaking, Johnny started to talk to the two babies he was holding. He told them how much he loved them and how much he had missed them while he was in the hospital.

Coming upstairs to check on the girls, the Kelly's were surprised to see Johnny and Kim in the room.

"We thought that you two would still be sound asleep."

"We got up a little while ago Mom. Johnny wanted to see the girls. Carly's still asleep."

Mr. Kelly smiled. "That little lady loves to sleep, but Callie's not far behind. Now, Cassie…she's more fussy…she likes to be awake and know what's going on. How are you feeling, John?"

"I'm alright…I've got my family back…it doesn't get any better than this."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE

Through the summer, Johnny gradually started to recover from his injuries. His cast came off his broken arm, his broken ribs and collarbone healed, and he returned to his previous good health.

The days at the Gage household were filled with love and lots of fun, as Johnny and Kim spent time relaxing with their three daughters.

After several check-ups with Doctor Brackett, Johnny was cleared to go back to work.

It was a late morning towards the end of July. Johnny was sitting on his front porch enjoying a cup of coffee when Roy pulled up to the house.

Smiling as he got out of his car, Roy made his way towards his partner.

"Johnny."

"Hey Roy, thanks for comin' over."

"No problem. It sure is quiet around here. Where is everyone?"

"The Kelly's came up for the weekend. Kim and the girls are spending the day with them."

Noting the serious expression on Johnny's face, Roy became concerned.

"Johnny, what's wrong? You're okay, aren't you?"

"I'm fine, Roy."

"Then what's going on?" Roy continued to press.

"Roy, I need to talk to you."

Sensing his best friend's hesitation, Roy immediately thought that something was really wrong. "Brackett cleared you to come back, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did." Johnny took a moment to compose himself, and to gather his thoughts.

Roy, who had been standing on one of the steps and leaning against the railing, proceeded up to the porch and sat down in a chair next to his partner.

"So what's going on?"

Johnny paused for what seemed like an eternity to Roy, but was really only a few moments.

"Roy…I'm not coming back."

The senior paramedic repeated the words that his partner had just uttered. "Not coming back? What do you mean, Johnny…not coming back?"

"Just what I said Roy…I can't do it anymore."

When Roy didn't respond right away, Johnny continued.

"Roy…at one time being a paramedic was everything to me…but it's not about me anymore. I have a wife and three daughters to think about…and as amazing as it sounds…they're my life."

When Roy continued to sit quietly, Johnny continued talking.

"While I was trapped in that collapse and waiting to be rescued…I assumed I was gonna die, Roy…and all I could think of was Kim and the girls…how much I loved them…and how much I'd miss them if I had died. I can't put Kim through that anymore."

After being stunned by the news and Johnny's admission, Roy finally found his voice and started to speak.

"What are you going to do, Johnny?"

"Well…I spoke to Brackett and Chief Houts…they offered me a position as a paramedic instructor. I start in two weeks. They're letting me take a little more time off before I start my new position."

"How long ago did you make your decision, Johnny?"

"Well…if I'm being honest with myself…and with YOU…I pretty much decided that, the day before I was finally released from the hospital. Roy…I'm sorry to spring this on you like I have. I wanted to tell you a long time ago…but I never could seem to be able to. I admire the fact that you have Jo and the kids and can still go out and do your job everyday…I can't."

Roy smiled weakly at his best friend. "Easy, I don't have your track record."

"Be glad. Roy…I…I've come back from everything…the snakebite, the virus, getting hit by a car, not to mention my most recent scrapes. If it was only me…I'd have no problem coming back to the field. But it's NOT only me, anymore. Truthfully…I never really thought I'd ever be married with kids, and here I am. I don't wanna screw it up."

"What does Kim say about this?"

"She's relieved, I'm sure…but she also knows how much my job and working with you has meant to me. This decision was all mine, Roy…Kim didn't force me to do anything. In fact, she wanted me to take my time before I made any decisions."

"I know, Johnny."

"Roy…I…I wanna thank you…for everything…for the times you've saved my life…for being my best friend…but most of all for convincing me to be a paramedic and for choosing me as your partner…it's been an amazing journey."

"It has been…but don't think it's over, Junior."

"I'm counting on it, Pally. We'll still be able to see each other…it's not like I'm movin' outta town or anything."

"I understand why you made this decision… and I can definitely respect you for it…and I'm glad you're okay, but I sure will miss ya, Johnny."

"Not as much as I'll miss YOU, Roy."

After several moments of awkward silence, Johnny started to speak again.

"I'm sure Kirby will be happy…he'll probably slide permanently right into my spot."

Roy was speechless. He knew after Johnny's brush with death, his partner would have SOME doubts about returning, but it had never occurred to him that Johnny WOULDN'T return.

"Johnny…"

"Roy…don't make this any harder than it is. My heart…my heart will always be with you and the guys…but my head tells me that I'm doing the right thing. Kirby's a good guy, Roy…and a good paramedic. He's kept you safe, so far…so I know you'll continue to be in good hands. Everything will be alright…you'll see."

"I guess I'll have to believe that."

"So…what are you doing today? I thought maybe we'd grill a few steaks and have a few beers…I'm getting awfully hungry."

Roy smiled and shook his head. "Some things never change, do they?"

"Nope."

"Well…I guess I can fit in a few hours to relax with my best friend."

"Follow me, then."

The two men got up and made their way inside to the kitchen.

Johnny took out the steaks that he had had marinating in the fridge.

Seeing the steaks that had been marinating in the pan, Roy chuckled. "You've been planning this for a while, haven't you?"

"Well…"

After the steaks were on the grill, Johnny handed his soon-to-be former partner a bottle of beer.

"Here."

"Thanks."

As each man sat down, there was an awkward silence…neither man knew quite what to say next.

Finally Johnny broke the silence.

"What are Joanne and the kids doing today?"

"Chris and Jennifer are both at some friends' house. Jo's at the library, I think."

"The library?" Johnny asked curiously.

"Yeah…the library. Some women like to unwind by going shopping…Joanne likes to go to the library and read. So…when are you going to break the news to the guys?"

"In two days…when you guys go back on shift. I…I already spoke to Captain Stanley…spoke to him yesterday."

"Did he get the steak, too?"

When Johnny looked at Roy with a confused expression, Roy shook his head and laughed to himself. "Never mind. How'd he take the news?"

"Pretty good, actually. He told me that he had a feeling that I wasn't coming back, especially after he saw Kirby's paperwork for permanent status at 51's. Roy…we're okay, right?"

"Johnny…we're fine. I admit this news threw me for a loop…but I honestly understand why you're doing this. I just hope you'll be happy with your decision."

"Roy…I already told you that it wasn't about me…it's about Kim and the girls. It really doesn't matter whether I'm happy at work or not…the bottom line is that I'll be safer than I'd be if I was out in the field…and THAT'S all that matters to me.. I'll still be with the department. Who knows…maybe I'll enjoy teaching."

"You'll be good at it, Johnny. You have a lot of experience…after all, I taught you almost everything you know."

Johnny let out a small laugh. "You know it is kinda ironic, Roy…YOU were the one who believed in the paramedic program so much…the one who pushed and pushed for it. I'd have thought that you'd be the one who would become an instructor, not me."

"Maybe someday, Johnny. Right now…I'd rather sit here and enjoy a nice juicy steak."

"Sounds good, Pally."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Two days after breaking the news to Roy, Johnny was at the Station, getting ready to break the news of his new position to the other men on the shift.

Johnny was sitting in Hank's office talking.

"You ready to do this, John?"

"No…but I'll have to be."

"I take it Roy didn't handle your news very well."

"Not at first…but he understood. Cap…you do know that if it was just me…I'd be back, right?"

"I know, John. I admire you for putting your family first…most guys wouldn't have done that…but then again…you, my friend…aren't most guys."

"Thanks, Cap." Johnny took a deep breath and added, "I owe it to Kim."

Hank looked at his watch. "8AM…ready?"

Johnny nodded his head, and the two men made their way to the squad room to meet the rest of the crew.

"Johnny…"

The paramedic smiled at the greetings of all his friends. "Hey Marco…Mike…Kirby…Chester B."

"Fellas…John has something he'd like to say. John…"

"Thanks Cap. Well…I guess I won't beat around the bush…I'll just say it…I…I won't be returning to the Station. I've taken a job as a paramedic instructor. Kirby will be taking my place as Roy's partner."

Since Roy had already been in on the news, he was the only one without a shocked reaction.

After a few moments of silence, Chet was the first one to speak.

"Did my sister put you up to this, Gage?"

Johnny shook his head. "No, Chet…it was my own idea. I just couldn't in good conscience go out there and do my job, knowing how close I came to making Kim a widow. Like I told Roy the other day…my heart will always be with you guys…but…let's just leave it at that. I wanna thank you guys for all the years of friendship…and family…for being there in the bad times…and in the good. I'll miss working with you…but I'll still be around. That's it…just take care of each other…and Kirby…good luck to ya…you've found yourself a new home."

After exchanging hugs with everyone, Johnny made his way to the locker room to clean out his locker. Following behind him, was Kirby.

As Johnny started to pull things out of his locker, the other paramedic could sense the emotion that was going through Johnny's mind.

Looking at Kirby, who was leaning against a locker, Johnny grinned embarrassingly. "Over ten years of memories…you know?"

Kirby nodded his head. "Johnny…I know how close you and Roy are…I promise to do my very best to keep him safe. I won't let you down."

Johnny smiled. "I know…and thanks. You'll be great, Kirby. The guys really like you, and I hear that you and Roy work well together…and as long as you continue to keep Chet in line…things will be just fine."

Taking out the last of his things and putting them into his bag, he zipped it up and put the bag down on the bench. "Good luck, Kirby." The two men shook hands, and Johnny made his way back out to where the rest of the crew was.

"Take care, guys…I'll be in touch."

Before Johnny made his way out of the Station, the alarms sounded, calling the guys to an MVA. Johnny stood for a moment watching as both vehicles pulled out of the bay…ten-plus years of memories flooding back into his mind.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

A week and a half later, Johnny started his new position as a paramedic instructor. Much to his surprise, he really enjoyed it…and was quite good at it. The young firefighters who had signed up for the class, were all in their early 20's, and very eager to embark on a new direction in their firefighting careers.

After introducing himself, Johnny answered questions about being a paramedic, and about the beginnings of the program…including telling them all about Roy. He even shared his experiences of being a paramedic, and spoke about many of his and Roy's adventures out in the field…some funny and others…not so funny.

As Johnny had adapted to his new position, he and Kim had once again fell into a routine. The two of them enjoyed Johnny's new 8AM-4PM schedule, and the fact that he came home every day and had weekends off.

Time had gone quickly by. It was now the middle of October. Johnny had now been in his position for over two months. One morning, while he was showering, Johnny's thoughts returned to how incredibly lucky he was. He had a beautiful wife, three healthy baby girls, a wonderful best friend, and a job that despite his misgivings in the beginning, he actually really enjoyed. Life for him couldn't get much better. Thinking back to how he had felt when he had returned home after his last accident…he decided that YES, there really was such a thing as a happy ending.

After getting dressed and eating breakfast, Johnny said good-bye to Kim, kissing her passionately…he was still madly in love with her…even after only three years together. Kissing each daughter on the top of the head, and acknowledging his in-laws who had been spending a few days with them, Johnny grabbed his briefcase and headed out the door.

Johnny had been in the middle of teaching his class, when he looked up and realized Chief Houts was in the room.

"Mornin', Chief. What can I do for you?"

"Uh…you have a visitor, John."

Johnny was surprised to hear that. "Yeah? Who is it?"

"Roy DeSoto. He needs to talk to you."

Johnny nodded his head…his heart was telling him that something wasn't quite right.

"Okay, I'll be right there. Guys, take five. When I come back, we're moving on to splinting."

When Johnny left the room, he met Roy in the hallway. Seeing the expression on Roy's face, he immediately knew something was wrong.

"Roy? What…what's going on?"

Roy exhaled loudly. "Johnny…I…I have some bad news."

Immediately, Johnny asked about Roy's family. "Joanne and the kids…they're alright, aren't they?" Johnny was very worried.

"Yeah…yeah…they're fine, Johnny. It's Kim. She…she was in a car accident."

Johnny's thoughts immediately went to the girls. "The…the girls…"

"The girls are fine, Johnny. They were home with your in-laws. Kim…she…she didn't make it."

After hearing Roy's last sentence, the color drained completely out of Johnny's face, and he looked at Roy with disbelief.

"No, Roy…she's…she's home with the girls."

"Johnny, listen to me…Kim's gone."

"I…I don't understand. I left this morning…everything was fine."

"Apparently, she was on her way to the store. She was broadsided…the guy went through a red light."

"Did she suffer much?"

"No…she never regained consciousness. I'm here to take you home, Johnny…you need to be with your family."

"How…how's Chet?" he asked with concern.

"He's in shock. He's with your in-laws."

"Uh…I…I…need to address my class, first."

"Sure. I'll wait out here for you."

Johnny shakily made his way back into the classroom.

His students immediately picked up on his awkward body language.

One of his students, a young firefighter named Carlos Hernandez asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

"Johnny, what's wrong?"

"Carlos…guys…I…I need to go. I…I have a family emergency. We'll pick things up tomorrow."

"Anything we can do?"

"No Carlos…it'll be okay. Uh…why don't you guys go home. I'll see you tomorrow."

"We'll clean up for you."

Johnny nodded in appreciation to his class. "Thanks, Ryan."

Johnny went over to his desk and gathered his things. As he was walking out of the classroom, Chief Houts approached him. He had been alerted by Captain Stanley of the tragic situation.

"John, please accept my sympathies. If there's anything I can do…"

Taking the Chief's offered hand, Johnny nodded his head.

"Thank you. I'll be in touch."

Continuing his way further out into the hallway, he once again met Roy.

"One of the guys will come back for the Rover."

"'Kay." Johnny was in shock.

The drive back home to Johnny's house was done in silence… each man deep in thought…Johnny's mind reeling from the implications of his wife's death.

Arriving at the house, both men made their way inside. Johnny was immediately embraced by Mr. and Mrs. Kelly, as well as Chet.

"Where are the girls?" Johnny asked, wanting to make sure that they were in fact safely at home.

"They're upstairs, Johnny…asleep." Mrs. Kelly's heart went out to her son-in-law.

"Uh…Roy?"

Roy looked at his best friend with concern. "What is it, Johnny?"

"Who were the paramedics on scene at the accident?"

"Why?"

Johnny's voice got loud as he became annoyed that Roy was trying to protect him from knowing the truth or something. "'Cause I wanna know. Who was it?"

"110's…Jackson and Reynolds. Johnny, I already told you that there was nothing that they could have done."

"I know that, Roy…I just wanna know who was with her at the end. Is she still at Rampart?"

"Yes. Johnny…"

"I'm okay, Roy. I'll…I'll be in touch. Why don't you go home to Joanne…tell her you love her."

"Johnny…I am so sorry. If there's anything I can do…or anything you need…please call me."

"I will…thanks."

Roy walked out the door, thinking to himself about how Johnny would face the coming months.

Mr. and Mrs. Kelly, Chet and Johnny stood a few moments, unsure of what to say or do next.

Turning to face his family, Johnny let out a breath. "How are you guys doing? I…I never even asked you."

Trying to stay strong for the others, Mr. Kelly answered. "Same as you, Johnny…but somehow…we'll all get through this."

While Johnny and his family were dealing with the news of Kim's death, others were doing the same.

Roy and Joanne went to pick up Chris and Jennifer from school. Once they returned home, Roy broke the news of Kim's death to the two of them.

Hank had called in replacements for Chet and Roy. The rest of the crew was relaxing, trying to come to terms with the news.

At Rampart, news of Kim's death spread quickly. Dixie was in the lounge with Dr. Brackett.

"I can't believe it, Kel. She was so young…only 26…and Johnny…what's he going to do?"

"It'll be rough, Dix…but Johnny will get through this. He's got Roy…and the Kelly's…and all of his friends…there'll be so many people who will be there for him."

"And those three girls…they lost their mother."

"Dix…they still have their father. Johnny will not let anything happen to those girls…and…he will never let them forget about their mother."

"I know…but it doesn't seem fair, Kel. They were so young and in love…they had their whole life ahead of them. Why did this have to happen?"

"I don't have the answer to that…but you're right, it ISN'T fair. All the rest of us can do for Johnny is to just be there for him…to let him know we care."

Back home, Johnny was sitting in the nursery watching his daughters sleep.

Katy, who had come over to support Chet and Johnny, had been sitting with Chet in the living room when the doorbell rang.

Getting up to answer it, she was surprised to see a police officer standing at the door.

"May I help you?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I'm Murphy Greenbush…a friend of Johnny's."

Hearing who was at the door, Chet got up. "Murph, come in."

"Thanks. I'm sorry to hear about your sister, Chet. Roy called me and asked me if I'd bring the Rover back to the house…it's parked out front. Uh…is Johnny around?"

"Yeah…he's upstairs somewhere. I'll go see if he's up for a visitor."

Murphy waited in the living room while Chet went to find Johnny.

Checking first the bedroom but not seeing his friend there, Chet continued to the nursery. Seeing Johnny sitting in the chair, he quietly made his way over to him.

"Johnny?" he called softly.

The paramedic slowly lifted his head.

"Murphy Greenbush is here. Are you up for a visit?"

The paramedic nodded his head before quietly answering. "Yeah."

Getting up from the chair, Johnny followed Chet downstairs.

Murphy walked over to his friend and gave him a hug.

"Johnny…I am so sorry."

"Thank you. Were you at the accident?"

"No, I wasn't. Roy called me…he asked me to pick up the Rover. I just brought it over."

"Thanks. You busy, Murph?"

"Not at all, why? Is there something I can do for you, Johnny?"

"Yes…take me to Rampart…I wanna see Kim."

Murphy didn't say anything at first, he only looked at Chet before returning his gaze to Johnny.

"You sure?"

"Yeah…I need to see her…please." He pleaded.

"Okay Johnny…I'll take you."

The Kelly's who had been resting upstairs in the guest room, came downstairs when they heard Johnny and Chet walking down the stairs.

Seeing Murphy standing in uniform, they became concerned.

"Johnny?"

Realizing his mother-in-law didn't know who Murphy was, he introduced him.

"This is Murphy Greenbush…he's a friend of mine. He brought my car back for me."

"Hello." Mr. and Mrs. Kelly shook his offered hand.

"I'm sorry for your loss. I know the two of you don't know me, but if there's anything I can do for you…please call me…Johnny's got my number."

"Thank you, officer…you're very kind."

"Please, it's Murphy."

Johnny looked at his in-laws. "I'm stepping out for a bit, but I'll be back soon."

Mr. Kelly looked at Johnny with concern. As a former cop, he had a feeling he knew where Johnny was headed, but didn't say anything.

Concerned about her son-in-law, Mrs. Kelly asked, "Where are you going, Johnny?"

"There's something I gotta do…I'll be fine…Murphy will be with me. You'll watch the girls for me until I get back?"

"Of course…be careful."

Leaning over, he kissed Mrs. Kelly. "I will. Be back soon."

Murphy and Johnny left the house and headed to Rampart.

Not wanting to run into anyone in the ER, the two of them went through the main entrance and took the elevator down to the morgue. When Johnny and Murphy arrived downstairs, after seeing Johnny's uniform, the mortician knew exactly who he was and who he had come to see.

"John Gage, I presume?"

"Yes. I'm…I'm here to see my wife…Kim Gage."

"This way please."

Johnny started to follow the man, but stopped when he felt Murphy's hand on his shoulder.

"Johnny…you'll be okay?"

"Yeah…I…I won't be long. I have to see her for myself."

The man led Johnny to where Kim's body was being kept. When the sheet was pulled away from her face, Johnny's heart skipped a few beats and he became shaky and pale.

Taking several deep breaths and exhaling, Johnny reached out and touched Kim's hair. Although the blood was cleaned off of her face, the bruises were very evident. He leaned down and kissed her lips.

Once again standing up, he tilted his head back and closed his eyes. He thought to himself that maybe this whole thing had all been just a bad dream, and that when he once again had his eyes opened he'd see his beautiful wife in bed next to him…sleeping. But when he opened his eyes and looked down, seeing Kim's battered face only brought home to him that this WASN'T a dream…he was now a widower, and would be forced to raise three daughters by himself.

"Mr. Gage…are you okay? Should I call your friend in?"

Johnny answered without any emotion. "I'm…I'm fine. Are you married?"

"Yes…35 years. I…I have your wife's personal effects right here…her purse and all. I put her two rings inside."

Johnny nodded his head and softly started to speak. "She…she was so beautiful…she was sweet…and kind…and smart…and boy, could she make me laugh. All she had to do was walk into a room…and I'd fall in love with her all over again."

Johnny stood looking down at her for another few minutes, before finally deciding it was time to go back home. Kissing her on the cheek, he whispered to her. "I will always love you…and like our song says…you're unforgettable…I will never forget you. I promise to take care of our girls…they'll grow up happy and strong…like their mama."

The paramedic gave the mortician a nod, and Kim's face was once again covered. "Look after her for me…please."

Despite his overwhelming grief and sadness, Johnny would not allow himself to cry…not even to shed a tear. Loudly exhaling, Johnny made his way back to Murphy, who had been worriedly waiting for him to return.

"Ready Johnny?"

"Yeah…take me home, Murph."

They made their way back upstairs and to Murphy's squad car. They were both relieved when no one had stopped to talk to them.

The trip back to Johnny's house was done in silence. Murphy glanced over at his friend a few times, each time his heart breaking for him. During the trip home Johnny had his head back on the headrest and his eyes closed. Murphy observed the almost white complexion of his friend.

Returning home, Johnny got out of the car and stood for a few moments looking at the house.

"Johnny?" Murphy called out worriedly.

"I'm okay, Murph. Thanks for taking me."

"Johnny…I know you have Roy…and he's your best friend, but don't hesitate to call me…for anything…night or day, okay?"

"I won't…thanks for being a good friend. I'm gonna need more than just Roy to help me get through this. I'll be in touch."

"Really?" He asked doubtfully.

"I promise. Go back to work, Murph…I'll be okay."

The two friends embraced and then Johnny made his way up the walk to the front door. Murphy watched as his friend shakily walked away.

Once inside, he was met by a most welcome figure…Captain Shaw. Captain Shaw was a Department Chaplain, and the man who had performed Johnny and Kim's wedding ceremony. They had first met about two and a half years earlier, and had kept in touch. Captain Shaw had helped the two of them get through Johnny's most recent near-miss, only a few months before.

Coming over to Johnny, he warmly embraced the paramedic. Expecting Johnny to break down, he was surprised when the younger man pulled away.

"I'm glad to see you, Cap. I…I see you've been visiting." Johnny commented, as he noted that Chet, Katy, and his in-laws were all sitting in the living room.

"Yes. Johnny, would you like to talk? We could go somewhere private."

"If it's okay with you…I'd rather pass on the invitation. I would however like to ask you…would you please do Kim's funeral service?"

The chaplain nodded his head in agreement. "If that's what you want…I'd be glad to, Johnny. Anything else I can do?"

"No…thanks. I'll be in touch. I'll be making the arrangements tomorrow. There won't be any wake…Kim wanted to be cremated."

Johnny knew the Kelly's, being Irish Catholic would have some strong feelings about the decision for Kim to be cremated, but he didn't care. She may have been their daughter…but she was also HIS wife, and he was determined to honor her wishes.

For their part, his in-laws didn't say a word about Johnny's decision to go against their religious customs. They respected Johnny and felt that it was best for him to do what he felt was right.

"Well…I guess I'll be going then. Take care…all of you…and if I can be of service to any of you…please call me."

They all nodded in agreement. After Mr. Kelly walked Captain Shaw to the front door, Johnny went back upstairs to the bedroom.

Changing out of his uniform, he put on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt…he was suddenly feeling quite chilly. Now that Kim was gone, the house somehow felt a lot colder to him.

Exhausted, Johnny sat in his big easy chair and laid his head back. Closing his eyes, he could picture Roy breaking the news of Kim's death to him…the words "Kim's gone" echoing in his mind.

Somehow he had made it through the night, though he had never actually slept.

At 5AM after checking on the girls, Johnny went down to the kitchen to brew a fresh pot of coffee. After pouring himself a cup, he went out on the deck and looked up at the sky.

Fifteen minutes later, he was joined outside by Chet.

Taking in Johnny's haggard appearance, Chet grew concerned about his friend. Johnny was still quite pale and had dark circles under his eyes, no sign of their usual twinkle, and he looked exhausted.

"Get any sleep?"

"Nope…how 'bout you, Chet?"

"A couple of hours. You're making the funeral arrangements today?"

"Yeah…I'm leaving at nine o'clock."

"You going by yourself?" Chet asked curiously.

"Yeah…I think that's best. I hope you and your parents understand."

"Of course we do. I just hope that you do know that you're not alone through this."

Johnny smiled weakly. "I do know that…and…and that's a good thing."

"By the way…Chief Houts called yesterday while you were out. He wanted to know how you were doing, and said that there was no rush to go back to work."

"Thanks…but I intend on going back after the funeral. I think the best thing for all of us would be to get back to our usual routines."

"You sure about that?"

"Chet…for me, I have to…I've got those three girls to think about."

"What are you going to do Johnny…I mean about the girls…who's going to look after them while you're working?"

Neither Chet nor Johnny had noticed that they had now been joined on the deck by Chet's father.

"Fellas…"

The two of them looked up and saw him standing on the deck.

"Pop…"

"Sorry if we woke you."

"You didn't, Johnny. Mom and I never really made it asleep. We were up most of the night. Listen, Mom and I talked about it…if it's okay with you…we'd like to stay for a while and help out with the girls. Besides, someone's gonna have to look after you, too."

Johnny smiled weakly at his father-in-law. "You and Mom would do that for me?"

"Johnny, you're family…we'd do it in a heartbeat. Over these last few years, you've proven yourself to be a fine young man…and you made our daughter very happy."

As the time on the clock slowly ticked by, Johnny did his best to keep busy until he had to leave for his appointment. He helped to take care of the girls…feeding and changing them, did some laundry, and even gathered all the old newspapers.

After showering, he changed into a pair of dress pants, shirt, and tie. Before heading downstairs Johnny took another look around the bedroom, it was then that he had suddenly noticed the white silk negligee lying on the bed.

Going over to it, he picked it up and rubbed his face on it. It still had Kim's scent on it. Closing his eyes briefly, he could picture her wearing it, her long hair cascading over her shoulders and Kim looking beautiful and sexy in it. Exhaling, he opened his eyes. Going to the closet, he pulled out a hanger and hung the garment up. Closing the closet door, he left the room.

Returning to the kitchen, he was met by Chet and his parents.

"I'm glad you all understand why I wanna do this alone. I'll be back in a few hours."

After saying good-bye to everyone, Johnny made his way to the funeral home to make arrangements for Kim's cremation and memorial service. He then met with Captain Shaw.

"John, you sure you don't want to talk?" The fire chaplain asked hopefully.

"I'm sure…right now, there's nothing TO say. I appreciate you doing the service. I guess I'll see you at nine tomorrow, then."

"Sure thing. Remember, the offer to talk will always be there."

"I know…thanks, Cap."

The two men shook hands, and Johnny left his office.

Making his way out to his car, Johnny was unsure of where to go or what to do next. Loosening his tie, he got into the Rover and drove…no idea of a destination in mind. Thirty minutes later, he had his answer.

Getting out of the car, he found himself at the beach…the same beach where he and Kim had had their first meeting at. Walking out onto the sand, Johnny headed towards the water. The sun was bright, but the wind was blowing, making him chilly.

Looking out to the horizon, Johnny suddenly felt very warm. Glancing down at the sand he noticed a gold heart-shaped locket at his feet. Bending down to pick it up, his heart nearly stopped when he saw the words engraved on it…"unforgettable…though near or far."

Closing his eyes, he was convinced that he was dreaming, but upon opening them the locket was still in his hand. Putting the locket in his pocket, he breathed in the sea air. Fighting the tears that threatened to fall, Johnny instead tried to smile. "I love you, sweetheart…everything will be okay."

Returning to his car, Johnny decided that the one person he needed to talk to was his best friend. Driving to a nearby pay phone, he dialed the familiar number, and was relieved when it was Roy who had answered the phone.

"DeSoto residence."

"Roy?"

"Johnny…how…how are you? I've…we've all been so worried about you…"

"I'm…I'm fine Roy."

"Where are you?" Roy asked with a mixture of worry and curiosity.

"At the beach. I…I'd like to talk to you…are you free?"

"Yeah, sure. Wanna come over?"

Johnny hesitated for a moment. "Actually…can we meet somewhere?"

"Sure…where, Johnny?"

"Uh…the…the park on Freemont."

"Okay…I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you." Johnny responded in relief.

"No thanks needed, Junior. I'll see you soon."

Thirty minutes later, the former partners met at the park.

Roy was startled, but not surprised to see how badly his best friend had looked. After embracing, the two men sat down on the bench.

"Johnny, I am so glad you called me. You had been on my mind ever since yesterday morning."

"Yeah…I…I needed to talk to you. You know me better than anyone else…and I…I need to know if I'm cracking up or something."

Johnny proceeded to tell Roy about his experience at the beach, from suddenly feeling warm, to finding the locket. He then pulled out the locket and handed it to Roy.

Looking at the locket and seeing the engraved words on it, the hair on the back of Roy's neck stood up. He knew "Unforgettable" was Johnny and Kim's song, and the words on the locket were indeed, "unforgettable…though near or far."

Weakly smiling, Roy shook his head. "Good news, Johnny…you're not cracking up. It definitely says what you thought it did. Maybe it's Kim's way of telling you that she's okay…and that she loves you."

Johnny was relieved when Roy saw the same thing he did, and that he didn't try to laugh at his friend for being "crazy".

Talking for another hour, Johnny told Roy about the funeral arrangements that he had made for the next morning. He was greatly relieved when Roy offered to make all the necessary phone calls for him.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The next morning, Johnny was getting dressed for the funeral. Wearing a black suit, he made his way downstairs. The others were already down there.

Chet offered to drive Johnny, while the Kelly's would be taking the girls in their car…after all, it was big enough to accommodate the three baby car seats.

Arriving at the funeral home, they were met by the funeral director, as well as Captain Shaw. After shaking hands with each, they all made their way to the main room, in which the service would be held in. At the front of the room was a beautiful mahogany table that had a beautiful silver urn on it…pink roses and a beautiful framed picture of Kim next to it.

Sitting down, the four of them waited…deep in thought, for the others to arrive. The three babies were sleeping soundly, oblivious to the tragedy that had befallen their family. Johnny watched them sleep, grateful that he had those girls, and a piece of Kim that would continue to live on.

As ten o'clock approached, the chapel started to fill up. All of Johnny and Kim's friends had come. The men of 51's and their families were there, as well as Johnny's closest friends from Rampart, Brackett, Early, Morton, and Dixie, as well as Julianne. It gave him great strength to know that they were all there.

Everyone's heart went out to Johnny. He and Kim had been a young couple in love, with their whole life ahead of them. They had three baby girls that Johnny would now have to raise by himself.

Seeing Johnny and how badly he looked was hard for everyone, but seeing those three sleeping babies had made them all even sadder.

After Captain Shaw spoke, Johnny gave his eulogy of his wife. In his eulogy, he spoke about the beginnings of their relationship, the love that they had had for each other, family and friends, and how much he would miss her. When he finished, there was not a dry eye in the room…except for Johnny who still hadn't as yet allowed himself to grieve openly for his wife.

When the service was over, everyone consoled Johnny, Chet and the Kelly's. There would be an open house at Johnny's house, so he knew that he'd be seeing most of these people there.

Saying good-bye to Captain Shaw, Johnny took the silver urn and framed picture, and after helping to load up the girls into the Kelly's car, got into Chet's car and returned home. After putting the girls in their cribs, they set about preparing for all their guests.

Soon, the house was full of people…people who did their best to convey to Johnny and his family how sorry they were for their loss.

Johnny was out on the deck with his closest friends, Roy, the guys of 51's, and Murphy Greenbush, tossing down a few beers…and feeling no pain, although the others suspected that he would be the next morning.

After spending the next few hours with all these people, having to listen to their well-meaning expressions of sympathy, Johnny was exhausted. The last people to go were Roy, his family, and Hank Stanley. The paramedic was glad that it was all over.

With encouragement from his in-laws, Johnny made his way upstairs to his bedroom, and after stripping down to his boxer shorts, passed out on the bed.

Despite his massive hangover, Johnny woke up early the next morning to get ready for work. He was intent in getting things back to normal. He was fine, even grateful for the Kelly's to stay with him and help with the girls, but he told Chet that he too needed to get back to his own routine, and made Chet promise him that when he got home from work that day...he wouldn't be there. Reluctantly, Chet agreed.

His in-laws were not all that surprised that Johnny had wanted to go back to work so quickly, but they were still quite concerned about him.

Downing a cup of coffee, and saying good-bye to his family, Johnny grabbed his jacket and briefcase, and made his way out to the Rover.

Arriving at the Headquarters Building where he held his class, Johnny was met by a very surprised Chief Houts.

"John, I didn't expect to see you back at work so soon. I hope that Kelly gave you my message."

The paramedic instructor smiled weakly at his boss. "He did, sir. I just wanted to get back to my normal routine. I hope you didn't go through too much trouble adjusting the class schedule or anything."

"No, none at all. Captain Stone offered to fill in for you. He taught the class the last two days. I don't think he's arrived yet this morning." Taking in Johnny's worn out, pale appearance, the Chief added, "If you need a break, or need to go home…"

"I assure you, Chief…I'm fine. I realize I don't exactly look like it…but I am. I appreciate your support…and the support of everyone in the Department…it means more to me than you'll ever know."

The Chief shook Johnny's hand and went back to his business. Johnny meanwhile went to his classroom and set about his own business. He had been so engrossed in going through his lesson plans that he hadn't realized that Captain Stone was now in the room with him.

"Johnny?" Stoney called out in surprise.

Looking up, Johnny smiled and went over to his friend.

"Stoney, thanks for taking over the class for the last two days."

"Ahh…it was nothing. What are you doing here? I thought you weren't coming back for at least a week or so."

"I needed to come back…to get back to business. I'm okay, really. You're welcome to stay…I mean you're already here."

"If you don't mind…I'd like that very much. I really enjoyed teaching the guys these last two days. It brought back a lot of fond memories for me."

As the guys started arriving for class, they were shocked and surprised to see Johnny there. Deciding to put them all at ease, he decided to get everything out in the open.

"Guys…I'm sure by now you have all heard what happened…and for those of you who didn't…my wife was killed in a car accident three days ago. I assure you that I am fine, and would like nothing more than for things to return to normal…and that means returning to work. My focus will be here with all of you…helping you to get ready to become paramedics…a job that I don't want any of you to EVER take lightly, OR for granted…take it from someone who can tell you that it can be taken away from you rather easily. Okay…with all that being said, let's get started."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

It had been difficult and even painful at times, but Johnny did manage to return to some sense of normalcy in his life.

A week and a half after Kim's death, Johnny and Roy were out on Johnny's deck talking.

The far-away look on Johnny's face told Roy everything that he needed to know about how his best friend was feeling.

"Johnny…"

"It wasn't long enough, Roy…we only had a few years together. I gave up a job I loved so I could come home every day safe and sound…and it turned out that there was still no happy ending for us. What's the point? Why did I even bother?"

"Johnny…you did it because you love your family. Kim may be gone…but you still have three girls who need you."

"I know." Johnny paused a few moments before speaking again. "Kim's parents have been a godsend to me. They said they'd stay as long as I wanted them to."

"I'm glad, Johnny. I know they're concerned about you…we all are."

"I'm not the only one hurting…Chet's not doing too good, either. And as strong as the Kelly's are being, I know they're having a tough time too. Then there's all you guys, Dixie, Katy…so I know I'm not the only one having a rough time of it. I would just like to know one thing…when does the pain start to go away? Does it ever?"

Roy looked understandingly at his best friend. "It's only been a little more than a week, Johnny…give it time. I suppose…maybe in time…the pain…it'll become a little less." Looking at his watch, Roy realized that the time was getting late. "Nine o'clock…I better get going. I go back on shift tomorrow. Johnny…if you need to talk…or anything…call me, okay?"

"Yeah…I will. Roy…thanks for being there."

Roy smiled at his friend. "What are best friends for? Oh…before I forget…you remember Chase McKenzie?"

"Yeah…the firefighter who thought he could still dunk a basketball. What about him?" Johnny asked, unsure of what the question had to do with anything.

"Well…the rumor has it that he has a cousin who's transferring to LA County from the San Francisco Fire Department. I think the name is Spencer McKenzie…supposed to be a pretty good paramedic."

"I'll have to keep a look out for him."

After walking Roy out to his car, Johnny went back inside the house and got settled in front of the TV.

The next day at Rampart, Roy and Kirby had just dropped off their victim and were now at the base station getting some supplies.

After handing the two paramedics their requested supplies, Dixie couldn't help but to ask about what was on her mind.

"Roy…how's Johnny doing? I haven't seen him since…the funeral."

"I don't know, Dix. I mean I know he's hurting, but he…he tends to downplay his emotions, you know?"

"Yeah…I know what you mean. I never had a broken heart before, but when I heard the news about Kim…I realized what it must've felt like. Did he go back to work, yet?"

"Yeah…he went back the day after the funeral. I think he wanted to try to get things back to normal…or as normal as possible.

Doctor Brackett approached the group, followed by a very attractive young woman who was dressed in an LA County Fire Department uniform.

"Roy…Kirby, I'd like you to meet Spencer McKenzie. Spencer, this is Roy DeSoto, one of our top paramedics, and his partner Kirby McFadden."

The two men shook her hand.

Roy let out a small chuckle. "You're Spencer McKenzie?" he asked in surprise.

"In the flesh. Roy DeSoto…you're one of the paramedics who helped my cousin Chase after his little accident two years ago." Spencer said with a smile.

Roy nodded his head. "Yeah…that would be me. So…you're Chase's cousin. He never mentioned you before…or rather that his cousin was a female."

"I get that a lot. My parents were so sure that I was gonna be a boy that they didn't bother picking out any girls' names. They named me Spencer…after their favorite actor Spencer Tracy. I'd love to chat, but I need to get going. Dr. Brackett was kind enough to show me around Rampart."

"She'll be working with Johnny for a few weeks." The doctor added.

Roy smiled mysteriously. "Oh…I'm sure he'll…he'll be pleasantly surprised."

Spencer smiled before her look turned more somber. "I heard about his wife. How is he doing?"

"He's hanging in there…but it's been a bit of a struggle."

Roy's radio went off, calling them on a run.

"LA, Squad 51 responding. See you guys later. Good luck, Spencer."

Dixie, Brackett, and Spencer watched as the two paramedics walked away and out of view.

"Doctor Brackett, thank you for the tour. I should probably get going. I'll be in touch…and Dixie, it was nice meeting you."

"Same here, Spencer. Good luck with everything. And…please tell Johnny that everyone at Rampart is thinking of him."

"I will…and thanks."

Dixie smiled as she watched Spencer make her way out of the ER.

"Kel, are you sure it's a good idea to have Spencer working with Johnny?"

"Dix…what do you think is GOING to happen? I just thought that Spencer would be a good distraction for Johnny…to help him get his mind off of things for a while. She comes to LA with a reputation as an excellent paramedic…can I help it if she happens to be an attractive young lady?"

Arriving at the Headquarters Building where Johnny taught his class, Spencer made her way to Johnny's classroom.

Knocking on the door, she was met by a very handsome dark-haired man.

"John Gage?" She asked hopefully.

"Yes, that would be me. Can I help you?"

Spencer smiled at Johnny. "I'm Spencer McKenzie. Dr. Brackett and Chief Houts have made arrangements for me to spend a few weeks with you and your class."

Johnny stood for a few moments in surprise. "Uh…I'm sorry…of course. Come on in, I…I just…"

"Were expecting a man?" Spencer finished for him and smiled.

"Yeah…not that I'm disappointed. Come on in. Guys, this is Spencer McKenzie. She'll be spending some time with us."

The rest of the men in the class all sat and smiled as Johnny led her into the classroom.

"Spencer, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself…that is, if you don't mind."

"No, not at all. I've been a firefighter in San Francisco for eight years and a paramedic for five. I was one of the first women to qualify for the Department. I decided that I wanted a change and transferred to LA. I think some of you might know my cousin Chase."

The guys all started to laugh, which didn't surprise Spencer. She knew her cousin's reputation as somewhat of a goofball/odd duck.

"I take that as a 'yes'."

One firefighter spoke up. "Well, don't take it the wrong way…Chase is a nice guy and all…but he blows a lot of smoke, if you know what I mean."

Spencer nodded in agreement and smiled. "He always did."

After showing Spencer to an empty seat, Johnny continued the class.

The call that Roy and Kirby had responded to was a minor incident and required no follow up to Rampart.

After putting away their equipment, Kirby got on the radio.

"LA, Squad 51 available."

"Ten-four, 51."

"I wonder what Johnny's reaction to Spencer will be."

Roy looked thoughtfully at Kirby.

"Truthfully, I'm not sure. Under normal circumstances, Johnny'd be quite the flirt…but these aren't normal circumstances."

At noon time, Johnny had given his class their lunch break so the room was empty. He and Spencer were sitting at his desk.

"Hungry? My mother-in-law packed me two sandwiches…ham and cheese."

Spencer smiled at Johnny. "Thanks, but I'm good. So…your mother-in-law packs your lunch for you?"

"Yeah…makes her feel useful. I gather Dr. Brackett filled you in on what's going on in my life."

"Yes, he did. I'm sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what you must be going through right now."

"I'm coping as best as I can. I'm lucky enough to have great friends and family…my in-laws and my best friend Roy and his family have been wonderful. I also have three baby girls who help ease the pain."

Spencer let out a small laugh. "Triplets, huh? You must've been shocked when your wife broke THAT news to you."

A wistful look came over Johnny's face as he fondly remembered the day that Kim had informed him that they were having triplets.

"Well…it didn't hit all at once…it wasn't until a couple days later that the reality set in."

Spencer observed the change in Johnny's demeanor to one of melancholy, and decided that she needed to distance herself from him in order to restore a sense of professionalism.

"Uh…I think I'm gonna go outside for air. When does class resume?"

The paramedic looked at his watch. "In about 20 minutes."

"Okay…I'll be back then."

As Johnny watched Spencer leave the room, he couldn't help to wonder if maybe he said or did something wrong to chase her away.

At the end of the day, after all the guys had left to go home, Johnny walked over to her.

"Spencer, you have a few minutes?"

"Sure, what's up?" She looked up curiously.

"I…I wanna apologize for earlier. I…I overstepped my boundaries….I didn't mean to."

The young woman looked at Johnny questioningly. "What are you talking about, John?"

"Our earlier conversation. I…"

"No…you…you were fine. I thought that** I** had overstepped MY boundaries. You seemed so upset…I thought I should go and leave you alone."

"Spencer…"

"John…you don't have to explain…I understand. You just lost your wife…and you're lonely…and hurting. I may never have been married…but I am human…and I AM a woman."

The paramedic smiled. "Yeah…that you are. Please…it's Johnny. The only one who calls me John, is my former captain…and maybe my father-in-law."

"You got yourself a deal. I should get going. See you tomorrow, Johnny."

"Yeah…sure thing."

Later that evening, Johnny had been at home relaxing when the phone rang.

Answering the phone was Mrs. Kelly. "Gage residence."

"Hello, Mrs. Kelly."

"Hello Roy. How are you?" responded Mrs. Kelly, as she quickly recognized Roy's voice.

"I'm fine ma'am. How 'bout you?"

"Holding my own. It's still hard you know, but we're getting along. Would you like to talk to Johnny?"

"Yes. How's he doing?"

"Well, truthfully…he seems a bit distracted today. I'll get him for you."

A few moments later, Johnny was on the phone.

"Hey, Johnny. I was wondering how you were doing."

"I'm okay, Roy. How's Chet doing? When I spoke to him yesterday he didn't seem to be doing too well."

"Same as you, I guess. Uh…so…uh…how was your day today?"

"Fine. I got to meet Chase's cousin today…Spencer. It turns out that Spencer is a SHE."

"Really?" Having already met Spencer, Roy tried to sound surprised.

"She's really something, Roy. Look, I shouldn't even be talking about this…my mother-in-law is in the next room."

"Johnny…"

"I should go Roy. I'll be in touch. Give my best to the guys."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EE

Over the next few weeks, Johnny and Spencer had become good friends. It was a struggle for Johnny to accept the fact that he had started to have feelings for Spencer, only a few weeks after the death of his beloved wife Kim.

Thanksgiving dinner was held at Johnny's house. Despite not being in a celebratory mood, everyone had made the best of it. Joanne and the others were inside doting on the three girls, while Roy and Johnny had gone outside for a walk.

"This must be hard for you, Johnny…Thanksgiving…to be happy under the circumstances."

"You're right, Roy…it is…and it sure hasn't been."

Studying Johnny's face, he knew that his friend had a reason for wanting to go for a walk. "I gather you have a reason for wanting to go for a walk, right Johnny?"

Johnny nodded his head. "Yeah…I wanted to talk to you…and I didn't want anyone to hear our conversation."

Roy looked concernedly at his best friend. "Is something wrong?"

"No…not really. I…I'm just a little confused."

A light bulb suddenly went on in Roy's head, and things started to make sense to him.

"Spencer McKenzie?"

Johnny looked at Roy in surprise. "How'd you know?"

"Just a guess. What's going on? I thought you two were just friends."

"We ARE, Roy. That's part of the problem. Kim's only been gone for a month…and I'm feeling guilty of my friendship with her. I find myself having these…these feelings."

"You're lonely, Johnny…and you miss Kim. That's perfectly normal."

"I am…and I do….and that's what I kept saying in the beginning, but now I know it's more than that. I…I have feelings for Spencer…and I know it's mutual. And…I don't know what to do about it. I mean what will people say…my in-laws…Chet…all you guys? As much as I've tried to deny it…they're there. I feel like I'm betraying Kim…and letting her down."

"You can't help how you feel, Johnny…and I would never judge you for it. I certainly can't tell you what to do…it has to be your decision. No one has the right to tell you what to do or how you should be feeling…no one. And for the record…I don't think you'd be letting Kim down. She'd be happy to know that you and the girls were being taken care of. I just wouldn't rush into anything."

"I wouldn't do that, Roy. I just worry what my in-laws would think."

"She'll be getting her new assignment soon, won't she?" Roy asked.

"Yeah."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. Maybe…maybe I should just forget about her, Roy. I don't know what I'm thinking, anyway."

"Johnny, everyone deserves to be happy."

"And I WAS happy…I had about three happy years with Kim. I never thought I'd have these feelings again…until I met Spencer. We should go back, Roy. Everyone's gonna wonder what's going on."

"Okay…just promise me that you'll think about things?"

"I promise, Pally."

When Roy and Johnny returned to the house, they were greeted by three smiling baby girls.

"The girls are getting so big, Johnny." said Joanne with a loving smile.

Johnny smiled at his girls. "I know, Jo. It seems like they were only born yesterday. I remember the day we brought them home."

Johnny momentarily got transported back in time, thinking about that wonderful day…it was the start of their new life as a family…and as parents.

"They're a good mix of you and Kim. They have your smile and Kim's blue eyes."

"Yeah." Johnny wistfully pictured Kim's beautiful face.

Interrupting Johnny's reverie, Joanne called for the kids. "Chris, Jenny…we should get going. Say your good night's and thank you's."

After everyone thanked Johnny and the Kelly's for a nice dinner, they gathered their jackets, said their good night's, and left.

Once the girls were put to bed, Johnny and his in-laws returned downstairs.

"Thanks for all your help today, Mom and Dad. Everything was fabulous."

"Our pleasure, Johnny." answered Mrs. Kelly.

"Hey, why don't you two go relax. I'll clean up."

"Johnny…how about if we ALL relax, and clean up tomorrow? Let's talk for a while."

"Sure…I guess the dishes can wait." Johnny answered with a tired smile.

The three of them went into the living room to relax on the couch.

Mrs. Kelly looked at her son-in-law, observing the weariness on his face.

"Johnny, why don't you tell us what's on your mind…you've seemed to be rather distracted the last few weeks."

Johnny shrugged his shoulders.

"It's nothing…really…I'm fine."

This time it was Mr. Kelly's turn to speak up.

"John, we both know how difficult these last several weeks have been for you. Maybe you need to take some time off…we'd love to stay here with the girls."

"No…work is just what I need. Did I ever thank you both for taking the time to help me through all of this…the girls and all?"

"Yes Johnny, you have…many times. You know, some day if you're lucky enough…you're going to meet someone who's as wonderful as Kim was. You have our blessings to move on, Johnny. Meeting someone new and having feelings for them, isn't going to diminish the way you felt about Kim…she'll always be a part of you…she lives on in your daughters."

Johnny looked at the Kelly's, a few tears starting to fall.

Mrs. Kelly took her hand and tried to wipe away some of the tears.

"That's what this is all about…isn't it? You met someone?"

Johnny's head was spinning. He couldn't believe he was actually having this conversation with Kim's parents. But he was relieved that there wasn't a hint of anger or disapproval in their voices.

The paramedic started to softly speak. "It happened by chance. I never set out to feel that way."

Johnny went on to tell them all about Spencer.

"She sounds like a special girl, Johnny. Anyone who puts their life on the line…IS very special."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

When the following Monday came, Johnny arrived to work earlier than usual. Walking into the classroom a few minutes later was Spencer.

Smiling, Spencer greeted Johnny.

"Hey there. Have a good Thanksgiving?"

Johnny smiled in return at the attractive paramedic. "Hi yourself. I did…how 'bout you?"

"It was nice. I spent it with Chase and his family."

Johnny took a deep breath and exhaled. "If it's okay with you…I'd like to take you out for dinner some time…if you're interested, that is."

Spencer kept smiling. "Oh, I'm definitely interested. We'll have to pick a night."

During the lunch break that day, Chief Houts gave Spencer an envelope that held her future assignment.

"So open it up…where ya gonna be?"

Spencer tore open the envelope and read the official letter.

"I'll be spending several shifts on the A-Shift at Station 51…then I'll be permanently assigned to the A-Shift at Station 46. I'll be working with a paramedic named Morgan Taylor. You know him?"

"Yeah…nice guy…you should work well with him. And 51's is where Roy works…guess you'll be orientating with Roy and Kirby…you'll be in good hands."

After studying Johnny's face for a minute, Spencer started to talk. "You miss it, don't you?"

"Miss what?" Johnny asked.

"Working in the field…working with Roy."

Johnny's expression turned thoughtful. "I do…but…I can't go back. After my accident in April…when I got back on my feet, I had to make the decision to become a paramedic instructor. I had a wife and family to think about…and way too many close calls."

"What's stopping you, now?"

"My girls. They lost their mother…they don't need to lose their father, too. I admire Roy for being able to do it…but he doesn't have my track record. Spencer…I don't doubt your abilities for one moment, and I'm not saying it because you're a woman…I'm saying it because…because I have feelings for you…please be careful out there."

Spencer smiled warmly at Johnny, her blue eyes dancing. "As long as I know I have a reason to be…I will."

When word got out that Spencer McKenzie would be spending several shifts with 51's A-Shift, Johnny got his first visitor on Saturday morning around 9:30AM.

Hearing the doorbell, Johnny answered the door, carrying his daughter Carly.

Seeing who his visitor was, Johnny was surprised.  
"Chet…mornin'. What brings you here so early?"

"I need to talk to you…NOW."

Johnny immediately grew concerned at hearing Chet's tone.

"Sure…come in. Can I get you coffee or anything?"

"No…I won't be long. You alone…'cause I don't see my parents' car outside?"

"Uh…yeah…well, me and the girls. What's wrong, Chet?"

The two men walked to the living room, where Johnny put Carly in the playpen.

"Have a seat."

Chet looked questioningly at his friend. "I need to hear something straight from the horse's mouth, myself. There are rumors going around that you and Spencer McKenzie are seeing each other. Is that true?"

"Spencer and I are just friends, Chet…but if it WAS true…what business is it of yours?"

Chet was incredulous. "What business is it of mine? Need I remind you that Kim has only been gone for all of a little under two months?"

"Chet, no one is more painfully aware of that than** I** am. I loved your sister with all my heart. Look Chet, if you're here to talk about Spencer and badmouth someone whom you don't even know…you can just leave now. No one comes to MY house and disrespects me."

"YOUR house, Gage? I believe it was KIM'S house."

Johnny let out a deep breath and tried his best to keep his composure.

"Chet, I know you loved Kim…we all did. She was an amazing woman…no one knew that better than ME. But as much as I miss her…I've realized that I also have to move on with my life…for the sake of my girls. And Kim…she would be the first one to tell me to do so. She would also tell you that you're way off base here."

"You think so, huh?"

"No Chet…I KNOW so. I know you're upset, but when you see Spencer on Monday morning at the Station…you better treat her with the same respect that you give to the others…or else you'll be sorry."

"Is that a threat, Gage?"

Johnny shook his head. "Nope…it's a promise. I think you're done here. Do me a favor, if you want to see your folks or the girls…call first."

"Boy…you really have Mom and Dad wrapped around your finger…don't you."

"I'm not justifying this conversation with you, Chet. Your parents are here because they WANT to be…I didn't ask them. They've been incredibly kind and supportive to me. Your parents…are here because of their love for their three granddaughters…no other reason Chet, so you can get off your high horse."

Chet got up, glared at Johnny and made his way out of the house. After sitting on the couch for a few minutes and pondering his next move, Johnny got up and made a phone call.

Dialing the familiar number, he waited for someone to pick up.

"Hello, DeSoto residence."

"Hey Jo…it's Johnny. Roy there?"

"Yeah, hold on."

The next voice Johnny heard was Roy's.

"What's up, Johnny?"

"I really need to talk to you, Roy. I'm here with the girls. My in-laws went back to San Diego for the weekend, so if Jo and the kids wanna come…"

"Okay…I think that can be arranged. You sound a little upset…are you?"

"I'll tell you all about it when you get here. Thanks for coming."

"No problem. We'll see you within the hour."

After getting off the phone, Roy turned to see Jo looking curiously at him.

"Jo, do you mind spending a few hours at Johnny's? He needs a little support."

"No problem. I'll tell the kids."

A little more than an hour later, the DeSoto's had arrived at Johnny's house.

While Jo and the kids were playing with the girls inside, Roy and Johnny were out on the deck talking.

"Spencer starts at 51's on Monday."

"I know. Kirby and I are really looking forward to it." Sensing Johnny's inner struggle he added, "Is there a problem with that?"

"No…**I** don't have a problem, but Chet sure does."

"What do you mean?" Roy asked, incredulous that Chet would have any issues with that.

"He paid me a visit this morning…bright and early…and confronted me about Spencer."

"He what?" Roy was genuinely surprised at Chet's actions.

"Just what I said, Roy. He has it in his head that there's something more than just a casual friendship between me and Spencer."

"Is there, Johnny?"

"No," Johnny replied somewhat unconvincingly.

"Are you sure about that? On Thanksgiving, that chat we had, had led me to believe that there was more to your friendship with Spencer than what you're saying now."

"Jeez Roy…whose side are you on anyway?" Johnny's frustration was evident.

"Calm down, Johnny…you know I'm on YOUR side. All I'm saying is that on Thanksgiving when we talked…you told me that you had had some pretty significant feelings for Spencer…so don't tell me that you're JUST friends."

"Roy…I said I had feelings for Spencer…but I never said that I acted on them or was even going to. All I'm asking for is a little support…is that too much to ask for from my best friend?"

"No, of course not. I'm here for you, partner."

Johnny weakly smiled. He and Roy hadn't been partners in almost eight months, so he was surprised to hear Roy still call him that.

"Partner?" Johnny questioned.

"Come on Johnny, you know I'll always consider you as my partner."

"And what about Kirby?"

"Johnny, don't make me say it."

"Roy?"

Roy suddenly realized by Johnny's tone that he was just playing. But even so, decided to be honest.

"Johnny, Kirby's a nice guy and a good paramedic…but he's not you…and he's not my best friend…and…he doesn't share our history together. Okay?"

The dark-haired paramedic smiled at his best friend. "Yeah…I knew all that. But really, Roy…what do I do about Chet? I mean Spencer being one of the few women in a department full of men is hard enough for her…I don't want her to have to deal with Chet's nonsense, too."

"You worried about her?"

"Roy…I care A LOT about her…I don't want to see her hurt…or…or upset, especially at the hands of Chet Kelly. Man…I can't believe for almost three years me and Chet actually got along. Because…now…he's…"

"Upset? Johnny, he loved Kim as much as you did…of course it was in a different way, but she WAS his sister. He's still grieving for her. I understand the need for you to try to get passed all that…for your girls. They don't need their daddy hung up on the past. But Chet…he doesn't have anyone to worry about but himself. What exactly did you say to him?"

"I told him that it was none of his business…and I meant it. He kept bringing up Kim…telling me that I didn't care about her anymore. I kinda lost it and nearly threw him outta the house."

"Really? Johnny, why do you care what everyone thinks anyway…'cause you never did before."

"Because I do. I don't want people to think I'm a heartless jerk…seeing someone so soon after Kim's death."

"Johnny, it's not like you intentionally set out to do that. Nobody would think that about you, anyway."

"Oh no? Chet does."

"Johnny…you remember when you and Kim first started dating?"

Johnny nodded his head and smiled at the happy memories it conjured up. "Yeah."

"Chet had his concerns at first, but he came around. Now is no different…he'll be fine. Have you talked to your in-laws about it?"

"Kind of…they gave me their blessings to move on with my life."

"Then what's the problem, Johnny? If you ask me, I don't think you're being honest with yourself."

"Fine…you want honesty? The truth is…I DO have feelings for Spencer…lots of them…and I know she feels the same way about me. I…I just don't know what to do about it."

"There's more to it, isn't there? You're afraid."

When Johnny didn't answer right away, Roy knew that he touched a nerve.

"Johnny, am I right?"

"Yeah…I AM afraid…afraid of losing her. It's what Kim must've gone through all the time…through all of my close calls and all. I'll be safely tucked away in a classroom, while Spencer's out there on the front line…I…I don't know what I'd do if something had happened to her."

"Well…something tells me that she can take care of herself. If she was able to qualify for the Department in San Francisco…she can handle Chet and anything else that comes her way. But, if it'll make you happy…Kirby and I will watch out for her, okay?"

"Thanks Roy. Uh…Joanne doesn't know about…me and Spencer, does she?"

"Not about how you feel about her. But I did tell Jo about her. Johnny, I know you tend to be private about some things…so you don't have to worry about me saying anything to anyone."

"Thanks Roy…I appreciate that."

The next day, Sunday, Johnny had been in the living room playing with his girls when there was a knock at the door.

He knew it wouldn't be Chet. Getting up to answer the front door, he was surprised to see who was standing there.

"Spencer."

"Hey Johnny. I'm sorry I didn't call first, but I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd say hello."

Johnny smiled warmly. "Well hello there…I'm glad you're here. Come on in, there are a few people I'd like you to meet."

Leading Spencer into the living room, he stopped next to the playpen where the girls were playing.

Seeing the babies, Spencer couldn't help but to smile.

"Oh Johnny…they're adorable. They all have your smile. What are their names?"

"Carly, Cassie, and Callie. Guys, this is Spencer. Have a seat. Can I get you something to drink or eat?"

"No thanks. I really hope you don't mind me just stopping by unannounced. Chase and I met for breakfast this morning. When he told me that you had lived nearby, I asked him for directions to your house."

"I'm glad you're here. I…I was gonna call you later…to wish you good luck tomorrow and all. I know you'll do fine."

"I know I will, too. Johnny, I don't want you worrying about me…being a woman and all."

Johnny grinned at Spencer. "I'll try not to…but how 'bout as a friend?"

The next morning Spencer had arrived bright and early to meet with Captain Stanley.

After the meeting, while the others were getting changed in the locker room, Spencer was sitting at the table drinking a cup of freshly brewed coffee.

"I can't believe they're actually making us work with her."

Mike, Kirby, and Marco were surprised at Chet's nasty tone. Roy, who knew the reason behind Chet's bad attitude, was not.

Stoker, who welcomed the idea of integrating both the Department and Station with women, spoke up. "Upset Chet, that maybe she'll do a better job than you?"

Chet looked up from buttoning his shirt and glared at Stoker. "Ask Roy…HE knows why I'm upset…he knows all about it. I'm sure Gage went right to him about it."

Kirby started to get an idea of what was going on, but Mike and Marco were still in the dark.

"Chet, drop it…please. You don't wanna go there…'cause you won't win."

Hearing the animated voices in the locker room, Hank entered.

"Gentlemen…is there a problem here?"

Marco, Mike and Kirby all shook their heads no.

"Roy? Chet?"

When neither of them spoke, Hank pressed the issue.

"If this is about a certain new member of this station, let's hear it."

"Cap,** I **don't have a problem…Chet does…and it's a PERSONAL issue. **I** look forward to working with Spencer."

"Chet?"

Chet didn't say a word.

"I expect you all to be nothing less than professional…and respectful towards Spencer. Is that clear?"

Everyone nodded their head in understanding.

"Chet?"

"I heard you, Cap. But it doesn't mean I have to agree with it."

"Kelly…I don't know what your problem with Spencer is. But I assure you…any incidents or problems…you will be strongly reprimanded…you understand? Roll call…in two minutes."

While the rest of 51's A-Shift were in the locker room, C-Shift had returned from an early morning call and were now introducing themselves to Spencer McKenzie. She immediately won them over with her easy smile and warm personality.

Coming out of the locker room for roll call was A-Shift. Not having met her yet, Marco and Mike's jaw dropped open when they caught sight of how attractive she was. Seeing how good-looking Spencer was, only added more fuel to Chet's growing disdain towards a person whom he had never met before.

C-Shift quickly made their way into the locker room to change, leaving the other men to get ready for roll call.

Hank cleared his throat.

"Gentlemen, this is Spencer McKenzie. She's a firefighter/paramedic who will be with us until the beginning of January. She recently transferred here from San Francisco. Spencer, welcome."

"Thank you Captain Stanley. I'm glad to be here. I know I will learn a lot from all of you."

"Now for the crew. This is Engineer Mike Stoker, firefighters Marco Lopez and Chet Kelly, and paramedics Roy DeSoto and Kirby McFadden."

Spencer smiled warmly at them. "Nice to meet all of you."

After roll call was over and the living arrangements discussed, and the morning assignments handed out, the men all went over to Spencer and shook her hand, expressing their pleasure of having her there…all except Chet Kelly.

"Why don't you come with me and Kirby, Spencer. We have to check the supplies."

While Spencer was with Roy and Kirby, Chet was mumbling to himself while cleaning the latrine.

Marco came in to get something from his locker and heard Chet's rumblings.

"Chet, what's your problem? Why do you dislike Spencer so much…you just met her?"

"You'll have to talk to Gage about that. I have work to do, Marco…unless you wanna stay here and help."

"No thanks, Chet…I'm leaving."

Closing up the drug box, Roy smiled at Spencer. "Well, we're all set. Have any questions about anything?"

"No…Johnny was very thorough in his class. I get the feeling that Chet doesn't like me very much."

"Never mind HIM, Spencer…he doesn't even know you."

"Chet's last name is Kelly? I…I think I understand what the problem is. It was his sister that Johnny was married to. He probably thinks there's something going on between the two of us. Maybe I should talk to him."

Roy shook his head. "I wouldn't do that. I've known Chet a long time…in time he'll come around."

Before anything else could be said, the alarms went off, calling the paramedics on a man down call.

While Roy responded on the radio, Spencer got into the squad, Kirby sliding in next to her.

Arriving on scene, the three paramedics were met by a hysterical woman.

"Please…please…you gotta help me…Charlie…Charlie's dying."

While Roy and Kirby got out the equipment, Spencer stayed with the woman to try to calm her down.

"Is Charlie your husband?"

"Yes…he's…he's inside. I begged him not to go for his morning walk today…he…he hadn't been feeling well."

Making their way into the house, they found their victim unconscious, keeled over to one side on the couch.

Pushing the coffee table out of the way, they moved Charlie to the floor. Deciding that Spencer was more than capable, Roy let her take the lead.

Finding him in cardiac arrest when they got to him, they immediately defibrillated and after three times, were able to convert him to sinus rhythm.

Contacting Rampart, they got their treatment orders and carried them out. When the ambulance arrived, they prepared Charlie for transport.

"Kirby, you take the squad in…Spencer and I will ride in with him."

Deciding that Charlie's wife was too upset to drive, they let her ride up front in the ambulance.

At the hospital, once their patient was in the safe hands of the doctors, Roy and Spencer left the room and met Kirby at the base station.

"Coffee, Spencer?" Roy asked.

Smiling, Spencer shook her head. "No thanks. I already had my quota for the morning."

Roy and Kirby looked at each other, and then back at Spencer.

"I don't know, Roy…a firefighter who only drinks one cup of coffee in the morning?"

"Laugh why don't you…but unless you two wanna see me bouncing around like a ball in a pinball machine…"

Roy let out a chuckle. "Reminds me of Johnny…although…he didn't need the coffee to bounce around."

Before anything else could be said, Dixie came over to them.

The three paramedics looked anxiously at her, before Spencer asked the question that was on all of their minds.

"How is he, Dixie?"

The nurse nodded her head. "He's stable…but is in serious condition. Dr. Brackett is talking to his wife now. So…how was your first run as a member of the LA County Fire Department?"

"Exciting. I'm glad we were able to get him back. Oh, I believe there are few things that we need to restock on."

Roy was impressed…nothing was written down about the supplies, everything was in Spencer's memory.

After getting the requested supplies, Roy told Kirby and Spencer that he'd meet them at the squad.

"I'll be right there, guys."

"Okay. See ya later, Dix."

"Bye Kirby…Spencer."

As the other two paramedics walked away, Dixie smiled at them. Once they were gone, Dixie turned to Roy.

"So what do ya think, Roy…how's our girl doing?"

"She's good Dix…real good…of course, this is only our first run of the day."

"How does she get along with the guys?"

"Everyone really likes her…and she sure hit it off with the guys on C-Shift."

"And Chet?"

Roy let out a sigh. "I guess you know about that."

Dixie nodded her head. "Yeah…Johnny called me yesterday."

"I don't know, Dix. I guess I understand why Chet feels like he does, but for him to take it out on Spencer…and Johnny. It's not like Johnny set out to feel this way about someone, so soon after losing Kim."

"Johnny's pretty upset about it. He really cares about Spencer."

"I know…and I'm happy for him. These last several weeks have been so hard on him. But Chet's attitude isn't helping the situation any."

"Chet just needs time, Roy. Like Johnny…he's still hurting too." Pausing Dixie then added, "I can certainly understand why Johnny likes her so much."

"Yeah…me too. She's warm and easy to talk to…not to mention how easy on the eye she is."

"It's more than that, Roy. They have a lot in common. Spencer lost her parents as a child, too. Johnny just feels comfortable with her."

"I had no idea. When it comes to Spencer, Johnny's never talked much about her…except to say that he had feelings for her."

Looking at his watch, Roy realized that he needed to get back to the squad. "Well…thanks for the chat, Dix…I should get back to work. Spencer and Kirby are gonna wonder what happened to me."

Dixie placed a hand on Roy's arm. "Roy…everything will work out. Chet will come to terms with the situation eventually…and so will Johnny…and Spencer."

"I hope so. See you later."

When Roy returned to the squad, he saw Spencer and Kirby's anxious expressions.

"Everything okay, Roy?"

"Everything's fine, Kirby."

"I didn't mess up or anything, did I?"

Roy smiled and shook his head. "No Spencer…you didn't mess up at all…in fact, I think you did great. I was just talking to Dixie about something."

Spencer looked at Roy with a questioning look. "Johnny?"

"Among other things. We better make ourselves available, Kirby."

"Okay."

Through the rest of the day, the paramedics were kept busy, being called on multiple runs. Spencer proved to be a very able and enthusiastic paramedic and firefighter.

Around 7PM, the crew was sitting around the table playing cards…everyone except Chet. Chet was out back by himself shooting baskets.

"Marco, do you have any fours?"

Smirking, Marco playfully glared at Spencer. "Yeah…I have fours. How do you do it, Spencer? It's like you have x-ray vision or something."

After Marco gave Spencer all of his fours, the rest of the guys all laughed.

Spencer merely shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "I win…again."

The phone ringing put a temporary stop to their card playing.

Getting up, Marco laughed and shook his head. "Temporarily saved by the bell…but we're not done yet, Spencer."

Marco picked up the phone. "Station 51, firefighter Lopez here."

"Hey Marco…it's Johnny."

"Hey…how ya doin'?"

"I'm fine…how 'bout you guys?"

"We're all fine, too. You wanna talk to Roy?"

"Uh…actually I'd like to talk to Spencer. Is she there?"

"Yeah…she's here. She's kicking our butts at cards."

Johnny let out a laugh over Marco's comment. "I'm glad…I guess it makes up for all the times I got MY butt kicked."

"I suppose. Hang on a minute, I'll get her."

Marco turned around. "Spencer…phone call."

Spencer got up and smiled. "No stealing my M&M's…I won them fair and square. Captain Stanley, mind if I take this call in the dorm?"

"Go ahead…and don't worry…I'll guard your loot."

"Thanks."

Marco put the call through to the dorm extension.

After Spencer left the room, the others turned to Marco.

"Is that Chase checking up on Spencer, pal?"

Before Marco could neither deny nor admit who was on the phone...Roy softly spoke.

"It's Johnny."

"How do you know that, Roy?"

"Because I just do, Cap." A part of Roy was a bit disappointed that it was Spencer whom his best friend had asked for, and not Roy himself…and another part of him was also a little jealous.

Spencer picked up the phone, thinking maybe it was her cousin checking up on her, but when she heard the voice on the other end of the line she knew exactly who it was.

"Spencer McKenzie here."

"Hey Spencer…it's Johnny."

Spencer's smile grew wider at hearing the sound of Johnny's voice. "Hi there."

"I'm just calling to say hello and to find out how your first day's been going."

"It's been going great…pretty busy, in fact. How was your day?"

"Good, but I gotta say…not having you in class was kinda strange. I really miss you, Spencer."

"Well…for what it's worth…I miss you too, Johnny."

"The guys treating you okay?"

"They've all been great. Roy and Kirby have been wonderful. I can certainly understand why Roy's considered the best around. Captain Stanley's a great captain…and Mike and Marco are very sweet."

"And Chet?"

"He's been keeping his distance when we're not on a run…but I understand, really. Don't worry about me, Johnny. Right now, I'm just enjoying beating their pants off."

Johnny laughed. "What card game are you guys playing?"

This time it was Spencer's turn to laugh. "Go fish…what other card games are there?"

"Ahhh….go fish…a tried and true classic. I played a lot of it with Roy's two kids when they were little. Well…I better get going. I'll be in touch…take care of yourself, Spencer."

"I will…you too, Johnny. Oh…you wanna talk to Roy?"

"I'll talk to him later…I gotta go check on the girls. Just tell 'em all I said hello."

"Okay…'night."

"'Night, Spencer."

Spencer got off the phone and came back to the room smiling.

"Johnny says hello to everyone…and he said that he's glad I'm kicking your butts."

The rest of the crew had let out a few snickers, when they realized that Chet had re-entered the room.

"Hey, pal. You okay?"

Chet gave his captain an annoyed look. "Just dandy. Any coffee left or do I have to fend for myself?"

"Easy does it, Kelly. Spencer made a fresh pot a half hour ago."

"It probably has arsenic in it." Chet said sarcastically.

Spencer smiled and tried to diffuse the situation. "No Chet…I only use arsenic at home. It keeps away the unwanted guests…and I found that people generally don't overstay their welcome, that way."

Everyone chuckled at her comment…everyone, but Chet.

In the middle of their exchange, the alarms went off, calling the engine to a fire.

After the engine left, Spencer gathered her winnings…the M&M's.

"That was a good tactic to use on Chet, Spencer. He'll come around eventually, it'll just take time."

"Yeah…and then I'll be on to my permanent assignment. Like I told Johnny…I can take it. As a woman…you don't succeed in this business without being tough."

Roy and Kirby nodded in understanding.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

At the end of Spencer's first shift with 51's, she was in the parking lot talking to Roy.

"Where you off to now, Spencer?"

"I don't know. I never feel like going home right away at the end of a shift. You have an idea?"

Smiling, Roy nodded his head. "Yeah, I do. Meet me at the Headquarters Building…but don't go in."

Spencer looked at Roy questioningly. "But Johnny's working."

Roy grinned. "I know…don't worry about it. I'll see you in a little while."

Spencer stood unmoving for a moment.

"Get going, Spencer…I'll meet you there."

The paramedic hesitantly got into her car. After she left, Roy went back inside to make a few phone calls.

On the way to meeting Spencer, Roy stopped off at a bakery to get three coffees and some pastries.

When he arrived at his destination, he got out of his car and told Spencer to stay put. He then handed her two cups of coffee and the pastries.

Making his way to Johnny's classroom, Roy sadly remembered the last time he had been there…the morning he had come to tell Johnny that Kim had been killed in a car accident.

Knocking on the door, Roy waited for Johnny to come.

When Johnny came to the door, he was surprised to see Roy standing there.

Before Johnny could even entertain any negative thoughts, Roy quickly put his best friend's mind at ease. "I'm here on pleasure."

Johnny looked at Roy like he had lost his mind. "Pleasure? Uh…I hate to break it to ya, Pally…but I'm working."

Roy shook his head and looked at his watch. "You're not for the next hour. Spencer's waiting for you in her car…with fresh coffee and pastries."

"And who's going to teach my class?"

"**I **am. It's not like I don't have the experience. I cleared it with Chief Houts…so go."

"Okay…okay."

Johnny and Roy both entered the classroom.

"Guys, this is…"

Before Johnny could introduce Roy to his class, one of the young firefighters called out Roy's name.

"You're Roy DeSoto. You're a legend among the paramedics."

Roy smiled embarrassingly.

"Yes…he's the one. I'll be back in an hour…Roy will be taking over the class for a bit."

Grabbing his jacket, he leaned over to Roy, "Thanks, Pally…I owe you one."

Johnny then left the classroom and made his way out to Spencer's car.

Smiling at Johnny, Spencer was a little confused.

"Where's Roy?"

"Teaching my class. He made arrangements for me to spend an hour with you. I'm all yours."

"Hop in. Coffee?" She asked.

"I would love some."

After eating the pastries and drinking their coffee, they decided to go for a short drive. Ending up in the hills, they parked at a spot that overlooked one of the canyons.

Johnny smiled at his driver. "Well…I gotta admit, this was definitely one of Roy's better ideas."

Spencer laughed softly. "Roy sure cares a lot about you, Johnny."

"Yeah…he does. He and his family took me in when I had no one else. I don't know what I'd have done all these years without them."

After talking for a while, Spencer looked at her watch. "I better get you back…or you might turn into a pumpkin."

Returning back to the Headquarters Building, Johnny got out of the car. "Thanks for breakfast. I'll be in touch, Spencer."

"Sure thing."

Watching Johnny walk back inside, Spencer couldn't help but wonder when she'd be seeing Johnny again. She knew that he cared about her, he told her that much…but if he felt for her the same way that she had felt about him…she didn't know how much longer she could hide her true feelings.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

As Christmas approached, the mood at the Station was very festive. At Spencer's insistence, A-Shift had put up a tree and really decorated for the holidays. She also had baked cookies to share with each of 51's three shifts.

One evening, as they were sitting around drinking hot cocoa…not coffee…the crew was talking about their favorite Christmas memories. As each crewmember relayed their special Christmas memories, there were lots of smiles and laughter…even Chet's mood seemed to change to a more positive one.

When it was Hank's turn to speak, the guys all started to laugh again…Mike, Roy, Marco and Chet knew which holiday memory their Captain was going to mention first…they talked about it every year.

"Well…it was about five years ago. We were called to a house…unknown type rescue. When we got there, we were met by a woman in a very skimpy Mrs. Claus outfit. Apparently, her husband…Mr. Claus…aka Santa…was stuck in the chimney…naked…nothing on but his hat. We somehow managed to get him out, although it took some doing. I remember the expression on that fella's face when we ultimately got him out of there."

Kirby's eyes got real big. "What exactly were those two doing?"

"Let's just say that that particular Christmas Eve was one of their fantasy nights." Hank replied.

When it was Chet's turn, he spoke about a Christmas from about eight years ago. "Johnny and I decided to do some overtime at another station, filling in for a couple guys who had recently become fathers. Our station had been called out on a structure fire…a church. The church was burned down to the ground…but everyone in the church escaped serious injury or worse. When we were cleaning up, in a corner of a church…completely untouched lay two angel ornaments from the Christmas tree. When Johnny and I brought them to the minister, he told us to keep them…that it was god's way of thanking us for being there. I don't know why, but I've never forgotten that day. So many people could have died or been seriously injured, but somehow fate was smiling down on them."

"You still have that angel ornament, Chet?"

Chet nodded his head. "Sure do, Marco. I keep it in my locker…it reminds me why I became a firefighter."

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEE

On Christmas Day, A-Shift, who had had the holiday off the previous year, arrived to start their shift. Despite having to pull duty, they had all arrived in good spirits.

During roll call, Hank even wore his Santa hat…a relic from his days of playing Santa for his children who were now too old for the tradition.

"Well, Happy Holidays to all of you. I know you would all rather be home with your families…but, I think we can make the most of things here, while we're on duty."

Spencer had volunteered to do the cooking that day, so while the others got started with their morning assignments, she got started with the cooking. The morning was slow, so she had plenty of time to prepare everything.

As she was about to put the roast in the oven, the alarms sounded, calling the station to a house fire. After quickly putting the roast into the fridge, Spencer made her way to the squad, getting into her customary seat between Kirby and Roy.

Arriving on-scene, they took in the burning structure…an old house. Getting out of the squad, the three paramedics put their gear on and prepared to enter the house. The report that they had received from a neighbor was that the family who lived there was still inside. As another two engines arrived, Hank instructed them where to go, and told his three paramedics to do a quick sweep of the house…that they would be followed by Chet and Marco on the hose.

Making their way first upstairs, they were able to locate the three children who were huddled together in one of the bedrooms. As each paramedic hoisted a child over his shoulder, and made their way down the stairs, they passed them off to another squad who had arrived and was waiting at the front door for them.

They then went deeper into the house to try to locate the adults. They hadn't gotten too far into the living room, when the house started to become very unstable. Chet had taken about three steps when the wooden floor started to give way, and he became trapped when his right foot and leg got stuck in the floor boards. Spencer, noticing how badly the conditions were rapidly becoming, urged Roy to get out…that he had a family to think about.

"I can't leave you guys, Spencer…"

"Roy, you and Kirby go look for the adults…I'll take care of Chet."

"You're sure?"

"Go!" She practically yelled out.

Roy and Kirby left Spencer and made their way to the back of the house.

With all the strength she had, Spencer managed to pull Chet out of the collapsed flooring and helped him get out of the house, before turning around and going back in.

Making her way back to where she knew Roy and Kirby would be, she noticed a large piece of furniture with lots of shelving that was sagging and looked ready to collapse and tip over under the strain of the heat from the fire. Relief overcame her, when she saw Roy and Kirby coming her way, carrying two adult victims. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that piece of furniture start to go and pushed Roy out of the way, but was just a second too late in getting out of the way herself…and became trapped under the heavy piece.

Roy and Kirby handed their two victims to other firefighters and worked on freeing Spencer. Looking up, they noticed the ceiling had two heavy wooden decorative beams on it…they only hoped that those beams, especially the one right over them, would not collapse.

When a loud creaking sound was heard, they could only back away and watch in horror, as one end of one of those beams had landed on Spencer…hitting her head. In a near panic, Roy called Captain Stanley and the motions were set to free Spencer.

After 30 harrowing minutes, they were able to get her out…she was now unconscious. Treating her at the scene, Roy and Kirby rode with her to Rampart.

Deciding to hold off on celebrating the holiday until Roy was off duty, Johnny and his in-laws were spending the day relaxing with the girls. When the telephone rang, Johnny got up to answer it…figuring that it was Roy calling to wish them a Merry Christmas.

"Merry Christmas…Gage residence."

Johnny heard Roy's voice on the other end, but it was very serious and didn't say anything about the holiday.

"Johnny…you better come to Rampart…Spencer's been injured."

Johnny's face drained of all color, his biggest fear coming true…that he'd lose her.

"How…how bad, Roy?"

"She's still unconscious…head injury for sure. I…I'm not really sure what else. Brackett's examining her now."

"Yeah…I'll…I'll be right there. Uh, someone should call Chase, too."

"They did."

Johnny got off the phone and told his in-laws what had happened.

"You go, Johnny…be careful. We'll take care of the girls."

Johnny put on his jacket and made his way to Rampart, the worst case scenarios popping into his head.

Arriving at Rampart after what felt like an eternity to him, he was met by the crew of 51's…minus Chet Kelly.

"Any news yet, Roy?" Johnny asked anxiously.

"No…not yet. They haven't been able to reach Chase or his family."

Noticing Chet was missing, Johnny asked about him. "Where's Chet?"

"He's getting examined…he hurt his leg when the flooring went out from under him. Spencer got him out."

"Is that how she got hurt?"

Roy shook his head. "No. She pushed me out of the way when a heavy piece of furniture was falling…she got trapped underneath it…then a wooden beam fell on her head. She's a hero, Johnny…she saved me and Chet."

It was another hour and a half before Brackett finally made his way over to the group of waiting firefighters.

Seeing Johnny's concerned look, his heart dropped to the floor…after everything that his friend had been through that year…he didn't need another tragedy in his life.

"Doc…how is she?" Johnny asked nervously, petrified of hearing the doctor's response.

Brackett exhaled loudly. "She's still unconscious. She has a serious concussion, and several broken ribs…also has several very deep bruises."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"I believe so. The CT-Scan didn't show any brain swelling or bleeding…she was very lucky. I would feel better about things if she gained consciousness…but I am hopeful that she'll be good as new before too long."

"Can I see her?"

"In a little while, Johnny…she's getting settled in ICU. We'll need to closely monitor her. As for Chet, he'll be okay. He sprained his ankle and has about 20 stitches in his leg. I pulled him off duty for a few shifts."

"Does Chet have to stay overnight, Doc?"

"No, he can go home, Captain. You can see him…he's in Treatment Room Two. Take care, fellas. Johnny, I'll let you know about Spencer as soon as I can."

Roy looked over at his best friend. Johnny had the same pale, sad expression on his face that he had had the day Kim died. Roy could only hope that this episode had a much happier ending.

"Guys, why don't you go see Chet. I'll wait with Johnny."

After the others left, Roy walked over to his best friend.

"Johnny…"

Johnny let out a deep breath. "Why did this have to happen? My life…my life was starting to get back on track…now…"

"Johnny, she's gonna be okay. You heard what Brackett said."

"Roy…I learned a long time ago…don't count your chickens before they hatch. The day Kim died…I was thinking to myself how perfect my life was…and how happy I was. Well…we all know what happened next. What if Spencer's NOT okay?"

Meanwhile, inside Treatment Room Two, the guys were visiting with Chet.

"Well, pal…you look no worse for the wear. How are you feeling?"

"Terrific, Cap. They gave me some pretty wonderful pain medication. How's Spencer? She's okay, right?"

"She's still unconscious, Chet. But, Brackett thinks she'll be just fine."

"Man…I really blew it. I've been such a jerk these last few weeks. I really owe Spencer AND Johnny a huge apology. How's Johnny doing?"

"He's here…he's waiting to see Spencer…Roy's with him."

"For now on…I'm going to mind my own business. I was so wrong about Johnny. I knew he loved Kim…but I was just rubbing everything in his face. Do you think I can see him?" Chet asked hopefully.

"I'll let him know you want to see him. Should we call your parents, Chet?"

"No…I'll talk to them later. Katy's coming to pick me up. Cap…guys…I'm really sorry to all of you, too. I hope you all can forgive me for being a royal pain in the butt."

Marco chuckled. "Don't worry, Chet…it's part of your charm."

"Get some rest, pal. We'll see you later."

When the guys made their way back to where they had left Johnny and Roy, only Roy had remained.

"Where's Johnny?"

"He went to see Spencer, Cap. Chet okay?"

"Yeah. He's going home…Katy's coming to pick him up."

Back in the ICU, Johnny quietly entered Spencer's room. Sitting down in a chair beside her bed, he took her left hand into his and kissed it.

Talking softly, Johnny started to get a bit choked up. "Spencer…please wake up…I…I need you."

When there was no response from Spencer, he sat for a moment, listening to the beeps of the various monitors, and watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest.

Entering the room quietly to check on her patient was Julianne.

Surprised to see Johnny sitting in the chair beside Spencer, she softly called his name. "Johnny?"

The paramedic looked up at hearing the familiar voice. "Hey."

Going over to check on the monitors and Spencer's vitals, Julianne first gave a quick glance over at Johnny, who appeared to be sitting there with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Is she a friend of yours?"

Johnny nodded his head in response to Julianne's question. "Yeah…she's…she's also a paramedic. She saved a few people today at a fire…including Roy. How are her vitals?"

"They're pretty good. She appears to be stable."

"Do you happen to know if her cousin Chase McKenzie was ever reached? He's…he's her only family."

Julianne sighed. "Sorry…we keep trying, but no luck. He probably went out of town for the holiday. You take care, Johnny…I'll see you later."

Johnny silently nodded his head.

After Julianne left the room, Hank quietly entered.

"John?"

"Hey Cap."

"How's she doing?" he asked, wearing a very serious expression.

"Stable, I guess…but she still hasn't woken up. They haven't been able to reach Chase yet."

"Yeah, I know. Listen, now might not be the time for this, but Chet really wants to see you. He feels really bad for how he's treated both you and Spencer. He's downstairs waiting for Katy to pick him up…seeing you before he leaves, would go a long way in helping him to deal with everything that's happened."

"Yeah…I suppose it would, Cap…but…"

"John, I can only imagine some of the hurtful things that he said to you…and believe me, he hasn't exactly been a prince at the station these last few weeks either…but he IS family…and he deserves a second chance. What do ya say…after all it's Christmas."

Johnny reluctantly nodded his head and agreed to see Chet.

Leaving Spencer's room, Johnny stopped by the nurses' station and told Julianne where he was going.

Following Hank downstairs, Johnny paused before entering Chet's room.

"Go on in, John…you'll both feel better."

Chet was laying miserably on the exam table…all kinds of thoughts running through his head. So deep in thought was he that he startled when the door opened.

Seeing it was Johnny who entered the room, relief washed over him. He knew he had a long way to go before he was squared with him, but seeing his longtime friend now was a start.

Johnny weakly smiled at his friend. "Chester B."

"Johnny…you're…you're talking to me?" Chet asked with surprise.

"Yeah Chet…I'm talking to ya. We go too far back to let this kind of stuff get in the way of our friendship."

"Johnny, I hope you know how sorry I am. I was so off-base…I know you loved my sister. I…I don't know what got into me. And…as far as Spencer goes…you're right…it ISN'T any of my business. Spencer's great…she actually has a lot of Kim's qualities. And especially after she saved MY butt today…who the hell am I to say anything. I hope you can forgive me."

"I think so…but if you ever take that attitude with me again…you'll be sorry."

Chet looked at Johnny hopefully. "Friends?"

Johnny grinned and nodded his head. "Friends."

The two of them shook hands.

"Hey, when Roy gets off shift…he, Joanne, and the kids are coming over to celebrate the holidays. Why don't you and Katy join us?"

"You're sure?" Chet asked uncertainty in his voice.

"Yeah…I'm sure."

"What about Spencer? I mean…she'll still be in the hospital."

"Brackett says she should be fine. I'll spend time here with her in between. If there's one thing I learned this year, Chet…it's to savor every moment…and not to take anything for granted. Family is important…and as much as you and I cringed about it in the beginning…you and I are family. Get some rest, Chester B…I'll be in touch."

Johnny left the room to see the anxious faces of his friends. "We're fine. Any news on Spencer?"

"No. Look, we need to get back in service. Stay in touch, John…let us know how she's doing."

"I will, Cap. Thanks for the support."

Before walking away, Roy went over to his best friend. "You'll be okay, Johnny? I can have Joanne come over and sit with you."

"No…I'll be okay. Joanne doesn't really know about Spencer...and right now isn't the time or place to bring it up."

"She'll find out about soon enough…and so will the kids."

"I know. I'll be fine Roy. I just wish they could get a hold of Chase. I'll keep you guys posted. When you talk to Jo and the kids…give 'em my love."

"I will."

After a quick call home to his in-laws, Johnny headed back upstairs to the ICU. Johnny sat back down in the same chair that he had been sitting in before he had left the room. Once again taking Spencer's left hand in his, Johnny put his head back and closed his eyes. Suddenly feeling so tired, he fell asleep.

He wasn't sure of how much time had passed, but when he woke up he found a pair of beautiful green eyes staring back at him along with a tired smile.

"Hey…you're up…welcome back."

"Johnny…what…what happened?" Spencer asked, an obvious fog still over her.

"You don't remember?"

"All I remember is going to a house fire. Are Roy and Kirby okay?"

"Everyone's fine…thanks to you. I should let the nurses and Dr. Brackett know that you're awake. I'll be right back."

When Johnny returned a couple minutes later, Dr. Brackett and Julianne were in tow.

After a quick examination, Spencer was deemed stable and the prognosis was excellent for a complete recovery.

Johnny told Spencer the whole story about what had transpired during the fire…it did come back to her.

"Johnny…did anybody call Chase?"

"Yeah…they've been trying all day. Did he go out of town or something?"

"He may have. All the pomp and circumstance of Christmas never appealed to him. A lot of times he would take a week and drive up to San Francisco and spend the holiday with me."

Unable to stifle another yawn, with her newly administered dose of pain medication kicking in, Johnny decided that he should get going.

"I'm going to go now…you need your rest. Spencer…I am so happy you're okay."

"I am too. Johnny, thanks for staying with me."

Grinning ear to ear, Johnny responded. "No problem…it's what I do."

Kissing her on the forehead, Johnny told her to get some rest.

"I'll be back tomorrow."

Two days later, the Gage's, Kelly's, and DeSoto's celebrated their belated Christmas holiday. They all made sure that the girls' first Christmas would be a very special one, and that Kim's memory was honored. Johnny took his angel ornament, the one that he and Chet had each received from the church fire all those years ago, and attached Kim's diamond engagement ring to it so it appeared to have a diamond halo. He then placed it on the fireplace mantle next to their wedding picture.

They were each thankful that the events of Christmas Day had had a happy ending. In between their family gathering, Johnny spent time at the hospital with Spencer, who was now in a private room. Her cousin Chase was also finally contacted and spent time with her, as well.

As each day went by Spencer got stronger. It was now four days after the fire. Johnny and Spencer were out in the hospital courtyard talking.

Looking up at the blue sky, Spencer couldn't help but to smile. "Are you sure it's December, Johnny…the weather is so beautiful."

"I'm sure…New Year's is only two days away. Spencer…I'm glad you're okay. I was really worried about you. When Roy called me and told me that you'd been injured…and had been brought to Rampart unconscious…I…"

"You what?" Spencer was looking at Johnny and smiling.

"I was scared…scared that…that I might have lost you."

"I guess you figured out that it takes a lot to keep me down, but I'm glad that you were worried about me…it means that you really care about me."

Looking at her, a serious look on his face, Johnny took one of her hands in his.

"Spencer, I care about you more than you'll ever know. In fact, if I can finally be honest with you…I…I have all these feelings for you…and I have for a long time. I just…I just didn't know what to do about it. I kept reminding myself that I had just lost Kim, but now…after thinking that something serious had happened to you…and my reaction to it…I think it's high time that I listen to my heart."

"So…what ARE you going to do about it?"

"I don't know…you got any ideas?"

Spencer grinned mysteriously. "I do…but I don't know if you'd wanna do it here in the courtyard."

Johnny smiled his famous crooked grin in return. "Try me."

Spencer leaned in towards Johnny and kissed him gently on the lips. "I've been wanting to do THAT for two months. Johnny, if this is what you really want…I'd be honored to be with you. We can take it nice and slow."

"Yeah, it is…it's EXACTLY what I want. Starting with New Year's…you're spending it with me and the girls."

"You sure?"

"Sure as sure can be. I wouldn't want to bring in the New Year with anyone else. This year…so many ups and downs…so many changes, but in a year full of mixed blessings…I found YOU…and for that…I am grateful."

Johnny and Spencer once again kissed content in sharing a new beginning, and looking ahead to the future.

**The End**


End file.
